


No One But You

by faequeentitania



Series: Reylo Week 2018 [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Ben Solo, Alpha Kylo Ren, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Cowgirl Position, Cunnilingus, Doggy Style, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Time, Force Bond (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, Knotting, Marking, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Pining, Omega Rey, Oral Sex, Psychic Bond, Reylo Week, Rough Sex, Soulmates, Superpower Sex, True Love, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-04-29 08:33:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14468898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faequeentitania/pseuds/faequeentitania
Summary: When he scented her on the wind, his entire world ground to a halt. It was primal, it pulled at something in his guts like a hook, and everything- the droid, the map, Skywalker- all became secondary to her.Her.The girl. His mate.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Day five of [Reylo Week 2018](https://reylo-week-2018.tumblr.com). Today's prompt: soulmates. So of course I went the ABO route. [anerdslife4me](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anerdslife4me) is still cheering me on, bless her.

When he scented her on the wind, his entire world ground to a halt. It was primal, it pulled at something in his guts like a hook, and everything- the droid, the map, Skywalker- all became secondary to her.

 _Her._ The girl. His mate.

She was frightened, he could smell it. Of course she was, the sound of battle in the distance, his troopers hot on the trail of her and her droid. He didn’t think she had scented him yet, the wind blowing the wrong way, but he was almost glad. He wanted to look in her eyes when she realized.

Blaster shots, which he aptly deflected. His omega had _fire_ ; no helpless, whimpering cliche to be found. She was frightened, backing away and breathing rapidly, but she still kept pulling the trigger.

He pushed her arm down with the Force, and finally stepped close.

“The girl I've heard so much about.”

Her eyes were wide, and her nostrils flared.

 _“Oh,”_ she whimpered.

The Force snapped taut. It was like tunnel vision, like the universe rearranged itself into a single thread, a single lifeline directly to her.

His breath echoed loudly inside his helmet, his heartbeat rapid, and he didn’t even realize he had reached for her until she whimpered. He held her jaw in his hand, the black of his gloves looking so threatening against her freckled skin.

The Force practically sang with their proximity, and it was all too easy to push into her mind, ravenous and desperate for anything, _everything_ , he just needed to know _more_ he needed-

“Sir,” Kylo felt his lips pull back in a silent snarl at the two idiots stupid enough to interrupt them, “Resistance fighters. We need more troops.”

Resistance? He gave his head a little shake; the forest, the sound of the battle, his mission. It all came flooding back to him in a rush. He had to get ahold of himself.

He looked back to the girl, still trembling and wide-eyed, and his mind caught like a snare on an image from the frenzied rush of her thoughts.

 _The map._ They didn’t need the droid. They just needed her.

“Pull the division out,” he commanded. “We have what we need.”

 _Sleep._ He pushed the demand into her mind, and her eyes fluttered closed as he swept the lithe little omega into his arms.

 _His omega._ The thought alone felt victorious, and he held her tightly as they made their way back to the transport.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Alone in the interrogation room, just the scent of her driving him mad, but he would wait. There was the matter of the map, and then...

She jerked awake.

“Where am I?”

He considered her, then licked his lips. “You’re my guest.”

“Where are the others?” He could smell her fear, but she was trying to will it away. She was putting up a fight of defiance that he couldn’t help but admire.

“You mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call friends? You’ll be relieved to hear I have no idea.”

She glared, and he could feel her anger like the color red.

“You still want to kill me,” he breathed curiously, and she grit her teeth.

“That’s what happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask.”

 _Creature._ Not a man, not her destined mate, _creature_.

He brought his hands up to the latches on either side of his helmet, and they released with a hiss.

Her eyes went wide. He stood still for her silent, startled appraisal before stepping forward, keeping his eyes on her even as he casted away his mask.

Her breath was quick, her lips slightly parted, and he stepped close to her with barely contained want. Her scent was clearer, sharper without his mask, and he saw her visibly shiver as he got close to her.

She could smell him too, and he knew it was causing those beautiful brown eyes to dilate, the flush to come to her cheeks, her soft, anxious pants.

“Creature?” he questioned softly, cocking his head slightly to the side and bracing his hands on the metal on either side of her hips, “Is that any way to talk to your alpha?”

“You are not my alpha,” she growled, trying to sound convincing, but he could hear the waver in her voice.

“Don’t be afraid,” he murmured reassuringly. “I feel it too.”

She shivered, defiantly looking away from him, and Kylo couldn’t stop himself from leaning in, pressing his nose against the side of her neck and taking a slow inhale. She tensed, and he could feel the rapid flutter of her pulse.

She smelled incredible, and he trembled at the way it made heat pool in his groin, his body throbbing with the desire to claim her. He let his breath out slowly through his mouth, and she made a whimpering sound. Another breath in, and the sharp tang of her arousal nearly made him lightheaded.

“You do feel it,” he murmured. “You know what this is, little scavenger. You know this is Recognition.”

“No,” she rasped. “I refuse.”

“You refuse?” he lifted his head, and her eyes snapped back to his; angry, defiant.

“I refuse,” she hissed again, her look so determined, so serious, that he could do nothing but pull back.

There was no point, no satisfaction in taking an omega who was unwilling. There was no victory to be had from an omega who did not beg to be claimed, to be taken and pleasured by their alpha.

He would change her mind. They had Recognized, the Force pulling them together like gravity; she was _meant_ to be his, he was _meant_ to be hers. He just needed time, he needed to prove himself to her.

“We’ll see,” he said softly, and she glared. He looked at her for another long moment, and greedily inhaled the scent of her arousal that still clung to the air.

“Tell me about the droid.”

She looked taken aback, and he stared patiently at her as she frowned at him.

“What?”

“You refuse me,” he said softly. “So my duties now require me to treat you as my prisoner. The droid. We know it contains a piece of the map to Skywalker. I know you’ve seen it.”

“I’m not giving you anything,” she growled, and he couldn’t help the bit of a smirk that tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“We’ll see,” he said again.

He had hoped it wouldn’t come to this; pushing into her mind, feeling her resistance to him when she should have been welcoming, but she had left him no choice. She would not give herself to him, so he would take the map to Skywalker.

Her loneliness, her fear, her desperate ache for belonging, for family; it felt like a clamp around his heart, and sorrow sang through him. He could give her all of those things, she was his _mate_ , everything she sought was right here, was right in front of her for the taking.

He forced himself to push it all aside; the _map_. He needed the map.

The power inside her suddenly unfurled, lashing out, and he was left breathless.

“You,” she panted, and his chest constricted at the second hard push of her mind. “You’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader!”

He yanked away, withdrawing the Force inside himself and cutting her out, his body reeling back from hers.

She was strong with the Force- _kriff_ , of course she was, she was _his_. An alpha and omega unlike any others; Recognized, willed to be mates by the Force itself, of course she was his equal. It made the want inside him boil, it made him want to claim her, right here, right now, made him want to curl around her power as her slick drenched his knot.

He took a step back toward her, and she threw herself against the restraints aggressively, a snarl curling her lips.

“I refuse!” she spat, even as the air thickened with the scent of their mutual desire.

He needed to leave. Now. Before he did something he regretted.

He took up his helmet, jamming it on his head before leaving the room with a furious growl.

Even when she would later take up her blade against him, all he could do was want her.

She was with the _traitor_ , his beta scent all over her, and _worse_ , his _father’s_ scent, and Kylo’s vision went red.

He wouldn’t hurt her, he’d rather die, but she had to _stay!_ If that meant fighting her, besting her so he could take her again, make her stay until she said yes, until she gave in to the inevitability that was _them_ , then he would.

He was left with nothing but scars, and a horrible, aching howl for his mate.

Rey felt it too, he knew she did. She growled at him with such fury through the Force, called him a monster and a snake, but he felt it every time they laid eyes on each other. The pull, the _want_.

He couldn’t catch her scent through these visions, and it drove him mad, but the pull in his chest, the tether through the Force yanking on their hearts... she felt it too.

She must have, or she wouldn’t have come to him. She wouldn’t have called out for him on Ahch-To, reaching her hand out for him across light years. She wouldn’t have let him feel her longing, her ache, her loneliness. The Force wouldn’t have given her such a glimpse of the future, it wouldn’t have shown him her past.

It took everything he had not to take her right there in that elevator. Her scent surrounding him, in such a small space, was an intoxicating torture. She stepped so close to him, and he prayed that she wouldn’t touch him, because if she did, if he felt the heat of her skin, it would all be over.

“Ben,” she whispered, his old name feeling so intimate from her lips that he shivered. “When we touched hands I saw your future. Just the shape of it, but solid and clear. You’ll turn. I’ll help you.”

He ached, everything in him calling out for her, demanding him to say yes, to worship this beautiful omega who had finally wanted to give herself to him.

He couldn’t. Not yet.

He knew that he would rather die than hurt her. He also knew he would kill to protect her.

The air of the throne room was thick with the scent of blood. It drove at a hunger in him; a hot, demanding call to violence, to revenge, to retribution for all the beat-down and grinding under Snoke’s heel he had suffered for so very long.

And _her_. His fiery omega, his warrior goddess who was submissive for no one, deep in the bloodbath with him, her aggression and her righteous anger like lightning through their bond.

He _wanted her_. He wanted to claim her right on the hard durasteel floor, drink in her scent, hear her moan and beg for his knot with their bodies high on adrenaline. It was practically primal, animalistic, and he _wanted it_.

But she was _holding on_. To the pathetic dreams of the Resistance, the Jedi, the family who had never loved her and were never coming back.

He could give her a family. He would worship the ground she walked on, he would be the most devoted mate in the galaxy, he would protect and provide for her and their children. She just had to _let go_.

“Join me,” he begged her, all of him desperate for her to take his hand. “Please.”

Having her flee from him again was like getting ripped apart.

He’d burn that Force-forsaken Resistance to the _ground_. He’d burn the whole fucking galaxy down until there was nothing left for her but him.

But kneeling on the ground with his father’s dice, staring at her disappointed face through their bond, all he wanted to do was die.

“It’s not too late,” she said to him, over and over, every time the bond flared to life, every time the Force brought them together, able to see but not scent or really, truly touch. “Ben, please. You don’t want to rule the galaxy, I know you don’t.”

She was right, of course she was right, but it all just _hurt_ and he didn’t know how to get out, what the right path was anymore, if he would even be able to follow it.

“Just come home,” Rey whispered to him. “Just be my alpha, not the Supreme Leader.”

_My alpha my alpha my alpha._

It haunted him, day and night, those words from her lips, the promise that they held.

“My alpha,” she whispered, in his bed, the Force cruelly bringing them together in the middle of the night, taunting him with the promise of what he did not have.

Her hand reached out, and he held his breath until her palm made contact with his cheek.

No visions, just _warmth_ , and suddenly he could _smell her_. His omega, mouthwateringly perfect and...

In heat. She was in _heat_.

In an instant he was rolling her under him, pressing his face into her neck and breathing deep, his head dizzy with how fast he was hard.

“Ben,” she tugged on his hair, her hips rolling up against him desperately. “Ben please.”

“Rey,” he moaned, the feel of their bond pounding in his chest beside his heart, and her scent driving at every instinct he had to claim her, to pleasure her, to fill her with his knot and keep her full of his seed.

He licked a hot stripe along her neck, his eyes almost rolling up into his head at the salty sweet taste of her skin, then she disappeared.

He roared in frustration, pounding his fist against the mattress in a rage.

Why was the Force so cruel to him? Why did it taunt him with the vision of his mate, his mate in _heat_ , only to rip her away from him?

He threw himself onto his back on the bed, breathing hard and shaking with emotion and unslaked need.

It was like the weight of a ship crashing down onto his chest, looking around the cold, black walls of his quarters, listening to the hum of the _Finalizer_ , breathing in the flat, recycled air.

What was the point of all this? He hated this, he hated every minute of it, hated it from the moment she left, the moment he gripped a furious coil of the Force around Hux’s neck and demanded control.

He had the galaxy at his fingertips, had worked to quell every flare of resistance to the First Order’s power.

For what? Why? For who?

His mate was beyond his reach, and she would remain so as long as he let his contrived version of his destiny control him. No, _Snoke’s_ version of his destiny.

His legacy. Heir apparent to Lord Vader.

He hated his legacy. He had felt trapped by it from the moment he was old enough to understand the weight of it. Skywalker. Organa. Solo. Born of legends, and betrayed by them.

He was tired. He just wanted rest, to be free of the demands of his lineage. He would never achieve that here. He would never, ever be free within the confines of the First Order.

“Enough,” he whispered to the darkened room. “I've had enough.”

He closed his eyes, reaching out through the Force, coiling himself around the tendrils of their bond.

She answered the call, her need for him setting his heart into a rapid burst.

 _Where are you?_ he demanded. _I'm coming to you. I'm coming to take care of you._

He let her see, let her feel his resolve, opened his heart and his mind to her with no reservations anymore. He was tired of running and he was tired of fighting.

 _Arda,_ she whispered across the bond, and his heart soared. _Find me on Arda._

His TIE Silencer ripped across the stars, and for the first time, he felt completely like himself. There was no insidious Snoke gripping his heart, there was no weight of the First Order, no Skywalker legacy. Just him and the Force and the black, star strewn space guiding him to his mate, to the only other person in the galaxy who truly mattered.

She had isolated the _Falcon_ , hidden her amongst the trees of a long, lonely forest, everything still and white with snow.

It was almost too fitting, that they should reunite in a place like this; in a forest like the one on Takodana, where he had first caught the scent that would change the trajectory of his life forever. Like the forest on Starkiller, cold and covered with crisp snow, though he hoped that this time the marks she left on his body would be from the fervor of their coupling, not anger and fear.

He landed his ship beside hers, his heart pounding and his blood hot with anticipation.

The hiss of the _Falcon’s_ ramp was a sound he had heard his entire life, but the flood of scent that poured out of the tired old ship nearly made his knees weak.

The sight of her, hair completely loose around her head, her face flushed, her pupils wide, and her lips parted as she breathed in soft, rapid pants actually _did_ makes his knees go weak.

“Go to your bed,” he growled with as much restraint as he could muster. “Or I'm fucking you right here on this ramp.”

She trembled with a little moan that nearly broke him, but ran on swift heels back into the ship.

He forced himself to count to ten before he stepped onto the ramp, the hiss of it closing behind him feeling like a strange, heavy mark of time in the universe.

Then the scent of her heat was all around him, and his restraint was completely spent.

He tore through the ship after her, his blood pounding in his ears and his body hot with desperation.

She was sitting on her bunk, waiting for him, and he pushed her down onto it with barely achieved control.

Then she was wrapping herself around him with a whimper, and control went right out the window.

Hot, fuck, she was so _hot_ , he could feel her even through his thick clothing, her simple pants and shirt damp with sweat. He groaned, pressing his face against the burning skin of her neck, and her scent sent his whole body on fire.

What he had experienced in the Force bond had been nothing, _nothing_ compared to the scent of her heat in reality.

“How long have you been like this?” he growled demandingly, sliding his hand into her hair on the back of her head and taking it into a tight grip that made her whimper.

“Two days,” she gasped as he forced her head back, exposing her throat for the ravage of his mouth. “I- _oh!_ I- I left as soon as it started, I knew the alphas would-"

The alphas would want her, would try to claim what was not rightfully theirs.

The thought alone made his blood boil with possessiveness, the idea of any alpha scenting her, pursuing her, trying to stake claim on an omega that was spoken for, that did not want them.

He shoved her knees apart and she keened, arching up as he pressed the hard bulge in the front of his trousers against the slick-wet crotch of her pants with a furious growl.

“This is the only knot you will ever take,” he hissed darkly, staring into her heavy-lidded eyes as she panted. “The only alpha that will ever satisfy you.”

“I know,” she whispered with a whimper, arching up into the press of thickness and squeezing her thighs around him so perfectly tight. “I know, that’s why I ran. I couldn’t stand the scent of any man that wasn’t you.”

 _Perfect,_ his omega was _kriffing perfect_ and Ben almost felt lightheaded with the sharp wave of want that surged through his blood.

Now. He needed her _right fucking now_.

He ripped her shirt over her head and shoved her pants down and off in seconds, making her moan and tremble, her hands fumbling with his thick belt.

His clothes were more laborious to get off, and he almost tore them in his haste to be rid of them.

“Oh fuck, oh kriff,” she moaned at the sight of his bare flesh, and his mind flashed back to the first time she had seen this much of his skin, when she had asked with tears in her eyes why he had killed his father.

That connection had been agony, intimate in a way he hadn’t been prepared for, watching her watching him with so much of himself on display. The pull to each other was always intense, but that had stirred up feelings in them both that were hard to hide away again.

Now they didn’t have to, and as soon as he was finally, completely free of his clothes she was pulling him against her.

“Please, _please_ ,” she begged, raising her hips and clutching at him with desperate hands, and he was completely powerless to refuse her.

There were so many things he wanted to do, so many things he thought about, obsessed over; how her slick would taste, the feel of his teeth sinking into the soft flesh of her thighs, her belly, her breasts, getting her off on his fingers, the impact of his hips against her ass as he fucked her from behind.

Two days was too long for her to be like this, wet and desperate for her alpha’s knot, and he would not leave her like that a moment longer.

She cried out as he pushed inside her with a swift jerk of his hips, and he had never experienced anything so perfect as the feel of her hot, clenching pussy desperately squeezing his cock.

“Fuck,” he gasped, his body setting a punishing pace, but she did nothing but whine and beg for more.

The Force crackled around them like electricity, winding them tighter and tighter. There would be no going back from this, nothing in this galaxy or beyond it that could sever this mated bond, not even death.

He hungered for it like nothing else in his entire life, his fragmented soul desperate and hurting for the piece that would bring everything into balance inside him, everything into peace.

He dragged his mouth along her neck, licking, biting, marking her with his teeth, with his scent, his brain lost in a fog of lust so deep he didn’t even feel the bruises her fingers were leaving on the back of his neck as she keened and started to come.

She pulled so tight he couldn’t do anything but bury himself inside her with a broken moan, and just like that his knot was filling, responding to the frantic clench and pulse of her pussy.

“Ben,” she gasped, overwhelmed tears in her eyes as her orgasm slammed into her all at once, and there wasn’t a power in the universe that could keep him from coming with her.

It was like being buried alive, the Force coiling around them and inside them as his knot locked in the vise of her squeezing, trembling cunt.

He was dimly aware of her crying out at the hard sink of his teeth into the juncture of her neck, his head filled with white noise and his body thrashing with hers as their peak dragged on for a small eternity.

The power suddenly broke, the Force shattering like broken glass, and it was like being sucked into a vacuum.

He slowly became aware of her soft whines, both of them shuddering and rocking dazedly as his knot throbbed in time with his heart.

He slowly released the pressure of his teeth, licking soothingly at the deep indents he had left behind that were sure to bruise. There was smug, deep satisfaction that hummed through him at the thought, and he licked at it again.

Rey shivered, her arms and legs curled weakly around him with soft whines and whimpers exhaled on every breath.

“Shhhh,” he whispered gently, trailing his mouth up her neck and along her jaw. “I’ve got you, sweetheart.”

He had made an error, he realized. A truly stupid, boneheaded mistake; an utterly grave oversight.

He hadn’t kissed her yet. He was rocking his knot inside her, riding the rhythmic clenching of her body as his cock pumped her full of his come, their mate bond practically vibrating through the Force, but he hadn’t even kissed her.

He fixed that immediately, swallowing down her overwhelmed whines until they tapered off, until she seemed to come back to herself with a soft sigh.

She stroked his hair softly, and Ben pressed a final soft, chaste kiss to her mouth before opening his eyes and looking down at her.

Rey opened her own eyes sleepily, looking so beautifully pleasure blissed and perfect.

Her heat wasn’t over, not by a long shot, but slated, for now.

“My alpha,” she murmured with a little smile.

He kissed her again; his perfect, fierce omega.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A single coupling would never satisfy her heat, especially when their bond had been so long denied.
> 
> Rey knew this; she knew from the moment she laid eyes on him at the foot of the _Falcon_ , looking up at her with those wild brown eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved this little universe so much I couldn't stay away.

A single coupling would never satisfy her heat, especially when their bond had been so long denied.

Rey knew this; she knew from the moment she laid eyes on him at the foot of the _Falcon_ , looking up at her with those wild brown eyes.

“Go to your bed,” he had said, command laced into every word, making her shiver. “Or I'm fucking you right here on this ramp.”

It had taken every ounce of her self control not to throw herself down the ramp right then, not to sprint and leap into her alpha’s arms, demanding his knot that instant. But he had given her an order, had commanded her to go to her bed, and the deep need in her to please him helped her to override the insistence of her cunt.

She had waited this long for him, what was another half a minute?

Agony, as it turned out, but he was swift to join her, pushing her back onto her bunk and finally, _finally_ claiming her as his mate. As they should have been able to do from the start.

She had wanted to, had _suffered_ to refuse him, but she simply couldn't, no matter how deeply her body wanted it; her instincts telling her that it would just be so much easier if she gave in.

She had been his _prisoner_ , had been a victim of his misguided quest for revenge against his uncle, against his parents, against absolutely everything they had ever been a part of or loved. She could not accept a mate like that, she could not risk bearing the child of a mate that would love nothing more than to burn the galaxy down.

It wasn't until he had come to her with a peaceful heart, open and ready to accept her help and her love, did she allow herself to have him.

She was better prepared this time anyway, she rationalized. Had been given the chance to understand their Recognition, to hear of other bondmates like them, a chance for her to understand what that meant for them.

It was something that was half rumor; a romanticized story that Rey had once been quick to dismiss. Recognition, an instant connection of souls, of destined bondmates, pulled and bound to each other through the Force to serve its will. Soulmates, lifemates, entwined so inextricably in each other that not even death would separate them.

It had sounded like dramatic waffle, back on Jakku. There were no Recognized bondmates that she had ever met, no evidence such a thing really happened.

Then she caught his scent, staring into the eyes of the imposing, masked man known as Kylo Ren, and it was like the order of the universe rearranging.

Nothing had been quite right since, her whole life shifting a step to the right without her consent until she was finally able to call her mate to her, finally able to give in to that pull to him and those beautiful brown eyes.

His bite on her neck was still throbbing, but he pressed gentle kisses and licks there mindlessly, his hips churning tightly inside her as his knot kept them locked together.

She was still blissed out, her body running high on endorphins and drowning in their pheromones, but the tingling heat of desire was already starting to creep back in.

He trailed his mouth up to hers again, one of his hands moving from where he had been gripping the sheets to push under her head and bury his fingers into her hair.

She imagined him gripping it from behind her, pulling her back into an arch while he filled her with his cock.

He shivered with a little moan, his hips grinding in tight and his voice filling her head, _Don’t worry, sweetheart, we’ll get there._

She could feel his desire, his yearning to satisfy her in any way possible, any way she wanted, and she wanted _so much_.

 _I'm coming to take care of you,_ he had promised, and she believed him.

“You’re perfect,” he slurred the words against her throat, breathing her scent in greedily. “I’ve wanted- so long-"

“I know,” she whispered, pressing her cheek against the side of his head, the fingers of one hand digging into his hair and the other wrapped tight around his waist. “Me too.”

Rey trembled as his teeth nipped gently at her pulse, a gasp caught in the back of her throat, and her body clenched around him in a sudden spasm.

“Fuck,” Ben breathed shakily, reflexively grinding in hard, his knot rubbing and pressing so perfectly inside her she almost wanted to cry.

“Ben,” she whined, heat pooling in her belly again. “Please...”

He wedged his hand between them, panting against her neck, and Rey’s whole body jerked when his thumb rubbed against her clit.

“Yes,” she gasped, squeezing her legs tighter, hitching her hips up and shuddering at the pulse of pleasure that rocked through her body. “Please. Again, please, I need-"

He rubbed the pad of his thumb in a hard little circle against her throbbing clit, and Rey could barely breathe.

She could feel him pull back from her neck, his gaze fixed to her face.

“Look at me.”

She forced her eyes open, shuddering and whining at the build of pleasure rapidly racing up her spine.

His eyes were so dark, his skin flushed and sweat beading along his face and neck. Rey watched his parted lips, his tongue darting out to wet them, and found herself fervently wishing for another kiss.

“Ask me,” he murmured, and Rey looked into his eyes again. “Ask me.”

He stilled the grind of his hips, his thumb slowing, and Rey whimpered and writhed with frustration.

“Please,” she begged breathlessly, digging her fingertips into his waist with a desperate buck of her hips. She needed him to _move_ dammit, she needed to come again, the heat in her blood beating frantic and demanding.

Rey whined and bucked again, her body squeezing around his knot in hard, drawn out pulses, making him tremble and gasp, and she almost felt his resolve slip.

“Ask me,” he whispered again, swallowing thickly and trembling with the effort of staying still.

“Please, kiss me,” she panted.

Ben lowered his head, stopping just short of her lips, and Rey tried to push up to meet him with a whine. Instead of allowing it, his fingers tightened in her hair, keeping her from bridging the tiny distance. Rey gave her own yank on his hair in frustration.

“Please kiss me _what_?” he growled, his voice low and soft, but so completely demanding it took Rey’s breath.

She knew what he wanted; knew the phrase he was trying to coax from her, and she even understood why he wished so badly to hear it.

“Please kiss me, alpha,” she breathed, and he immediately obeyed with a deep groan.

His thumb resumed its tight, hard circles and his hips rocked, ruthlessly rubbing his knot perfectly inside her until Rey was shaking and whining against his mouth.

She had no idea it could feel like this. She had never bedded an alpha, had no idea the heavy thickness of his knot inside her could make her feel like falling apart just on its own, let alone the intensity of a knot and his torturous rub against her clit.

Her first orgasm had been a tsunami; heavy and crashing and utterly overwhelming. She hadn’t been prepared, had no idea how it would take her breath and all rational thought, would strip her awareness of anything but him, anything but his scent and his cock and his heavy weight over her. She hadn’t been prepared for the snap of the Force, either; the the way the power had built and built along with their pleasure, filling and entwining them together the way they were always meant to be.

Her second orgasm, her pussy already stuffed full of his knot and his cum, was building to be its own kind of slow devastation, and Rey wondered if they would feel another surge of the Force to go with it.

Rey didn’t realize she was whimpering until he trailed his mouth from her lips to her ear, his voice soft and gentle despite the rough drag of his thumb and the hard grind of his hips, “I’ve got you, love, come on. Come on.”

He spoke to her like she was divine, like he was worshiping her with his hands and his voice and his body, and Rey gasped and arched and shuddered as she suddenly came.

There was no surge of the Force this time, but he gave a harsh groan, and she could feel his knot pulsing and throbbing inside the tight clench of her pussy, pumping her with even more of his cum as her body shook and thrashed.

“Good girl... good girl,” he panted against her neck, his pleasure crashing through their bond to join hers, and all she could do was cling to him desperately, gasping and writhing and just trying to remember how to fucking _breathe_.

Wave after wave, his touch and his knot unrelenting, pushing and pushing her until there were tears in her eyes and she _ached_.

“Stop,” she begged him, clawing at his back and pulling sharply at his hair with a half sob. “Ben!”

His hand immediately left her clit and pushed under her back instead, squeezing tight around her as his lips pressed warmly against her neck.

“Okay,” he murmured softly, pressing the words against her rapid pulse. “Okay, it’s okay, I've got you.”

Rey’s lip trembled, begging the spasms jerking through her body to stop, to relent their sporadic squeezing around his knot that kept his hips reflexively hitching in with shivery breaths. He was trying to be still, trying to calm her with his kisses along her skin and his mind tangling soothingly with hers, but it was still far too long before the spasms stopped and Rey was finally able to draw a full breath.

He kissed along her temples, tracing the tear tracks that led into her hair and rubbing his thumb soothingly behind her ear, his hand still cradling her head.

“That hurt you,” he whispered, pressing soft kisses along her jaw, and it took Rey’s dazed brain a moment to catch up with the creeping guilt in him that went with his words.

She gave her head a tiny shake, scratching her fingertips against his scalp a little, and he pulled back to look down at her.

“It was just a lot,” she whispered, too weary to open her own eyes in return. “Just... too intense, at the end.”

He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth, soft and gentle, and Rey gave a barely audible hum of contentment at the simple contact.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against her lips, brushing a light kiss there, and Rey was truly astonished to feel his sense of guilt mounting higher. He hadn’t done anything wrong, he had done what any alpha would do; he had been trying to give her pleasure, to feed the hunger of her heat to get her through it.

Rey forced her eyes open to look at him, scratching her fingertips against his scalp again gently, and gave another little shake of her head, “Don’t be. That’s the point of this. That’s what heats do.”

“I’ll still try to be gentler,” he murmured, and Rey gave an incredulous, breathless laugh as she pushed her chin up a little to catch his lips in another kiss.

“Not gonna break, alpha,” she whispered, then smirked in satisfaction when it made a possessive thrill rush through him. She pressed another soft kiss before speaking more seriously, “I trust you, Ben. You stopped when I told you to stop. That’s more than can be said of some alphas.”

Deep unease seeped from his mind at the thought of refusing her plea, and Rey gently angled his head to the side so she could nuzzle his neck affectionately. She knew he was a good man at heart, had felt it deep in her bones since they touched hands through the Force on Ahch-To, and every moment like this confirmed it. He was not perfect, not by a long shot, but he never acted out of cruelty. Fear and anger, certainly, but never cruelty just for cruelty’s sake.

“I will never try to hurt you,” he whispered in a solemn vow against the shell of her ear, his earnestness almost making Rey’s eyes well. “Please believe that.”

“I do,” she answered immediately, holding him a little tighter as she rubbed her cheek against his neck. “I do, Ben. I trust you.”

She could feel what that meant to him, how precious he found her trust, and Rey kissed his neck and stroked his back. She brushed her fingers through his hair again, damp with sweat but still so soft, and she yearned to bury her face into it; fill her nose with his warm, heavy scent that she had longed for for so long.

He wordlessly settled his head down onto her shoulder, his face angled away from her to allow her to do so, and Rey smiled happily as she pressed her face into his mess of dark hair and took a deep, relaxing breath.

She lost track of time for a little while after that, just basking in the comfort of his scent and the heavy weight of his body.

She could feel his knot slowly lessening, and he eventually pulled out with a slow withdrawal of his hips. She winced, and he kissed her neck apologetically.

“Don’t,” she whispered when he tried to pull away, tightening her arms and legs around him, so he gently settled over her again instead with a kiss to the bite he had left on the juncture of her neck.

The sheets were going to be trashed, their mixed fluids leaking out of her without his knot to keep them inside, not to mention their sweat and pheromones, but Rey couldn’t be bothered to care.

She wanted the whole ship to smell like them; she wanted his scent pressed into every nook and cranny again like hers was, wanted the _Millennium Falcon_ to be their home, she never wanted the beautiful old girl to be without a Solo walking her halls ever again.

Rey sighed, squirming a little under him, and he pulled back to sweetly kiss her mouth. She would need him again soon, the desire seeping through her becoming harder to ignore by the moment, but she trusted him to give her what she needed.

She sighed again as she combed her fingers through his sweaty hair, his soft moan of pleasure at the simple action making her feel warm inside.

“Like that?” she asked quietly, and he gave a little nod.

Then his mouth was moving, trailing down her chin and neck, down onto her chest, then lower, working his way down her body to where she was starting to throb.

Rey pushed up onto her elbows to watch his progression, her heart starting to flutter and fresh slick mixing with his seed where it was still leaking out of her and onto the sheets.

He didn’t seem to care, settling onto his belly with half of him hanging off the bunk as he brought his mouth to her clit.

The first flick of his tongue made her gasp, digging her fingers into the sheets as he gave a heady moan. Warm, slow licks, his hands holding her hips and his eyes closed, their mixed fluids on his tongue clearly bringing him a hedonistic kind of pleasure.

 _It’s proof that you’re mine,_ his voice answered her unspoken question. _Proof that you want this the way I do._

She reached a hand down to stroke his hair again, biting her lip at the next slow drag of his tongue.

 _I’m yours,_ she affirmed, shivering at the spark of sensation racing up and down her spine from the moan he pressed against her clit. _And I do._

He moaned again, his soft panting through his nose tickling her pelvis, and goosebumps broke out over her skin.

A fresh wave of need gripped her in a tight clench, making her shake and whine, and Ben’s fingers were suddenly pushing inside her as his tongue continued to work.

It wasn't as satisfying as his cock, not nearly, but it still made her pussy spasm and squeeze around his digits.

 _Fuck, there’s so much,_ he thought dazedly, the warm gush of her slick and his cum dripping down his fingers and the back of his hand messily.

If she had any shred of modesty left, she might have been embarrassed, but then his lips moved from her clit to her opening, his tongue pushing inside along with his fingers, and Rey’s brain ceased to function.

He was so turned on, she could feel it through their bond, and she cried out and writhed with the way it amped her own heat higher and higher.

He licked into her sloppily, thrusting his fingers and holding tight to her hip, then licking a broad stroke back up to her clit.

 _You taste incredible,_ he marveled, rubbing his tongue languidly from side to side, making electricity race up her spine with a gasp.

He immediately repeated the motion, curling his fingers against the front of her pussy as he worked his tongue, and Rey couldn’t hold herself up on her elbow anymore, collapsing back on the bed with a cry.

She wanted to squirm away and pull him closer at the same time, the intensity of his mouth making her arch and writhe. She didn't know what to do with her hands; scrambling for a hold on the bed as her hips pushed up against his mouth and she clenched around his fingers with a high whine.

And she just-

Couldn’t-

 _Get there._ Her orgasm was _there_ , just beyond her reach, but she couldn’t _catch it_.

She gave a frustrated wail, shaking and strung tense as a wire. “Ben- I can’t-”

He turned his head, nipping at her thigh, and she gasped at the sharp sting. His fingers kept thrusting, his mouth working up her thigh to her hip, then her belly, her breasts; laying a trail of gentle little bites that made her muscles jerk and her skin tingle. All the while he kept his fingers pumping inside her, riding the clench and squeeze of her muscles until he was licking her collarbones and Rey was inches away from going insane.

“ _Alpha!_ ” she growled at him, digging her fingers into his shoulders as hard as she could, thrashing with a sharp gasp when he roughly thumbed her clit. “Fuck, Ben, _please_ , I need-”

“I know what you need,” he growled, giving his fingers a final rough shove.

Suddenly Rey was on her belly, trying to get her elbows under her as he pulled her hips up from the bed and shoved in with a rough snap of his hips.

Rey cried out, burying her face in the sheets as he set a punishing pace, the smack of his hips hitting her ass shockingly loud in the little crew quarters.

 _This_ , fuck, yes, she needed his cock, she needed his knot, her body craving the incredible stretch of him locking inside her and filling her up.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he panted, digging his fingers into her hips, and Rey could do nothing but moan and grip fistfuls of the sheets above her head.

The wave of pleasure was building again, her whole body throbbing and clenching and shaking; the sound of Ben growling and groaning pinging something deep and primal in her heat-soaked brain.

She cried a sharp sound into the bed and suddenly his hand was gripping her hair, pulling her head up, putting her back into a steep arch.

“No,” he growled sharply, his hips somehow slamming into her harder, rougher. “I want to hear you, omega.”

 _Kriff, fuck, **fuck!**_ Rey gave a long, crying whine at the command, his grip on her hair and the strain of her arched back making her ache, but it was _so fucking good_.

His knot was starting to swell, forcing him to slow the pace of his thrusts, but it was worth the stretch every time he pushed in and pulled out.

Rey was so close, crying out with every breath as her body clenched and shook, just seeking that final push to get her over the edge.

Ben let go of her hip and her hair, leaning over her as he buried his knot, grinding inside her now as he swelled too big to pull out. His hands sought hers, interlacing their fingers and pressing her hands to the bed, his mouth against her shoulder.

So _close_ , his pleasure sharp and demanding over their bond, cranking her higher and higher and she couldn’t catch her breath.

Then a sharp bite of his teeth, digging into her shoulder and that was it, she was falling, her body locking tight as her orgasm crashed into her like a thunderclap.

“Fuck yes,” she heard him groan, ecstasy bursting through her whole body in a hot, overwhelming rush as he came with a growling shout.

His knot pressed and _pressed_ , rubbing just right inside her, forcing her pleasure to crest again and again without end, caught in a vicious cycle of his orgasm and hers, feeding into each other in a loop until Rey definitely passed out.

The next thing she was aware of she was on her side, Ben’s soft moans into her hair accompanying the long, involuntary pulses of her cunt, squeezing and milking his throbbing knot in pleasurable bursts that drew soft whines from her throat.

 _You’re incredible,_ the dazed thought floated from his mind to hers, making Rey’s insides feel warm with satisfaction.

Their fingers were still entwined, the palms of his hands pressing against the back of hers, and he had wrapped himself around her, criss-crossing their arms across her chest and holding tight to her trembling body.

She felt safe, secure, wanted in her alpha’s arms, and Rey shuddered as another pulse of pleasure made her clench around him, pulling more of his seed deep inside her.

“Fucking-!” he gasped breathlessly, tensing and shaking through it, his hips making desperate little hitches, trying to press even deeper inside.

Rey just moaned in agreement, squeezing her hands around his fingers as they rode it out together.

“How long do your heats usually last?” he murmured a few minutes later, when the pulses finally started to slow down.

“Don’t know,” she confessed softly, embarrassment making pink creep up her cheeks. “This is my first one.”

“ _What?_ ” he asked incredulously, and Rey nodded in confirmation.

“Our doctor said it’s because I was too malnourished on Jakku,” she explained quietly. “My body knew it couldn’t waste the energy on a heat, let alone a pregnancy. Not that I would have let an alpha anywhere near me to result in a pregnancy, but my biology didn’t know that.”

He was quiet for a moment, and she could sense his mind swirling through a list of thoughts. She sensed outrage on her behalf, no doubt the protective, alpha part of his brain bristling at the fact that she had spent so much of her life underfed and hungry. Then a tentative hope mixed with apprehension that she didn’t understand.

“Seems like a dumb question at this point,” he finally whispered, rubbing his nose against the back of her head and squeezing his arms a little tighter. “But... do you have an implant?”

He seemed almost... disappointed at the thought, and Rey’s heart fluttered in her chest at the implication of that. He wanted to know if there was a chance that her heat would result in a child, or if she had a contraceptive implant to prevent it.

The fact that he seemed to be hoping she didn’t made a maelstrom of emotions swirl in her chest, all of them too big for her to handle right now, so she let out a shaky breath.

“Yes, I have one,” she murmured.

She thought back to the long elevator ride on the _Supremacy_ , enclosed in the tiny space with his scent, almost able to feel the heat of his body despite the distance she made sure to keep between them.

When he touched her arm, pushing her insistently out of the elevator and into the throne room, it was only her fear of the gnarled, ominous Snoke that had kept her from reaching for him, her whole body craving his touch like a physical ache.

She had requested an implant as soon as they had found somewhere to hide. She had almost given in to him; the temptation had pulled at her, the Force coiling tight across their bond, demanding her to give in to their Recognition, demanding her to bare her throat and plead for him to claim her.

The first coupling of a Recognized pair almost always resulted in a child. A primal, organic way for the Force to tie the bondmates together, a physical manifestation of their union. With how close she had been to accepting him, to letting him claim her on the durasteel floor of the burning chaos that was Snoke’s throne room, Rey knew that she needed to be prepared. She had no idea when they would see each other again, no idea what the circumstances would be, or if she would be able to fight her need for him when faced once again with his haunting brown eyes and incredible alpha scent.

She refused to bear a child created from a frantic fuck between two enemies who were unable to control themselves. The implant had been paramount. At least, she hoped, until they were ready; until they were truly united, not separated by a war and a history of hurts.

Even now, though he had come to her with an open heart, ready to follow whatever path she chose for them, that did not mean the end of danger. The First Order would not crumble so easily, the war would go on, and the thought of bringing a child into that was too upsetting for Rey to bear.

Ben rubbed his nose against the back of her head again, trying to quell the disappointment in him.

“I thought it was a good idea,” she whispered. “Since the galaxy seems quite keen on destroying itself at the moment.”

Her words gave him pause, and the hard, sad truth that any child of theirs would be in constant danger seemed to sober him up from the thought.

“You’re right,” he acknowledged softly. “It was a wise choice, considering our circumstances.”

Rey gave a little nod, then after a thoughtful, quiet moment, brought one of his hands up to her mouth to kiss across his knuckles.

 _You truly want a child with me?_ she couldn’t stop herself from asking, and he squeezed his arms around her tightly.

“You’re my mate,” his voice rumbled softly into her hair. “I want everything with you.”

Rey felt tears come to her eyes. It was still so alien to her, sometimes, the idea of being wanted. The idea that anyone could want her the way he did, so passionately and devotedly, ready to throw himself into this mate bond with his entire heart... it was almost overwhelming.

 _Everything,_ she promised him. _I will give you everything._

His breath caught, and his hands squeezed around hers.

He didn’t say it, but she felt it; unable or unwilling to hide his adoration of her. She returned the feeling, kissing his knuckles again, and Ben ducked his head to press a kiss to the bite he had left on the juncture of her neck.

He was still throbbing inside her, and Rey wanted to come again around his knot. She wanted her alpha to take care of her, just as he promised he would.

She guided one of his hands down her body and between her thighs, and he eagerly rubbed her clit as she sighed and squirmed.

“Again, alpha, please. Make me come again.”

He did not refuse her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow this fic started to have a plot? Dunno how that happened, but expect more smut and feels after this, I guess.

Her heat was waning, and he should have been relieved.

He would never say that there wasn't a part of him made up of selfish pride at being the one to satisfy her heat, the one to bring her pleasure after pleasure until she was limp and sated under him. He didn't think there was an alpha alive who would consider their omega’s heat a burden, not by any stretch of the imagination, but he wasn't ignorant of the fact that it was stressful for her to go through.

He felt it between the peaks of her heat, when she was tired and frustrated, annoyed at the lack of control she had over her own body during this strange quirk of their evolution.

So it should have been a relief, when the urgency of her desire began to drop off; he should have been happy that Rey was going to be more comfortable and content without the hot demand in her blood. And he _was_ , in a way. He was happy at the thought of a Rey who was unburdened by this primal demand, who was more relaxed and happy once she was free of her heat’s clutches.

The end of her heat, however, also meant the end of ignoring his current circumstance.

Here in the _Falcon_ , he could pretend that the Resistance wasn’t out for his blood; that going to face his mother wasn't going to hurt so badly, that the repercussions of his actions across the past near-decade weren't going to lead to more suffering.

Rey had faith that things would be okay; that he had left the First Order of his own free will, paired with her faith and belief in his sincerity, would be enough to earn their trust and allow him the forgiveness of his sins.

He wished he shared her optimism, but he knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

The simple truth of the matter was he was terrified. The First Order was its own kind of prison, grinding him down ruthlessly; there wouldn’t have been anything left of him if he had stayed. The Resistance was not going to be better; they would want to make an example out of him, claim they had been strong enough to capture the former Supreme Leader as a means of enticing others to join them, and deter any who were considering helping the First Order in the future. They would not trust him, he knew Rey’s hope was false on that. He just hoped his mother was merciful enough toward Rey not to put her through the trauma of being forcefully separated from her bondmate.

It was a prudent military strategy, he wasn’t denying that. He could be a valuable pawn to the Resistance, but that was the problem. He had been Snoke’s pawn for far too long, he was sick of being a piece in someone else’s game. He just wanted to run and never look back, let the galaxy tear itself apart for all he cared, he just needed Rey and a ship to drift them across the stars.

Rey, however, could never be as selfish as he wanted to be. He already knew the depth of her compassion, how affected she was by the suffering of others, how it pulled at something in her, demanding her to help, even when it cost her to do it.

It was what had lead her to deliver herself to his doorstep on the _Supremacy_ , what had allowed her to penetrate the layers of scar tissue and anger that infused his entire being. Her compassion had saved his life, on more than one occasion and in a myriad of ways, and he was grateful for it, but it didn’t change the fact that her compassion and sense of duty to the galaxy was going to mean his subjugation.

She stirred from where she had been sleeping on his chest, no doubt roused by his swirling thoughts, and he did his best to quell them, shove them down as hard as he could to conceal them from her.

“What’s wrong?” she whispered anyway, her hand petting over his chest soothingly.

He swallowed, closing his eyes and trying to push his emotions more firmly under his control. She didn’t need his emotional turmoil, not on top of the stress of her heat. She seemed to disagree, however, as a second later she was sitting up, swinging her leg over his hips and leaning her hands heavily down onto his shoulders.

“Don’t do that,” she said sternly, staring down at him with a serious expression that was startlingly intense.

Ben looked up at her with wide eyes, caught off guard at her ferocity, and she dug her fingers into his shoulders a little.

“I mean it,” she ordered him with resolute determination. “Don’t hide from me. You’re allowed to feel things, Ben; it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.”

His throat felt tight, and his eyes flicked over her face. “I’m pretty shit at being human, I think.”

She shook her head, sighing at him, and he could feel her exasperation. “No, you were just a shitty Jedi. But I’m a shitty Jedi too.”

That was not at all what he was expecting her to say, and his eyebrows drew together in surprised confusion.

“I know the theory,” she said with a little shrug of one shoulder. “Serenity through detachment, right? Separating ourselves from emotion to experience purity of the Force?”

He gave a nod. She raised one hand to brush over his hair, and he could feel a wave of affection from her through their bond that made his chest feel tight. “We’re pretty bad at being detached, wouldn’t you say?”

It was an understatement, to say the least. First under Luke’s apprenticeship, then under Snoke’s, he had been told repeatedly that his attachment to his family was a weakness. It clouded his judgement, it made him rash and vulnerable, it kept him anchored to his past in a way that kept him imprisoned, unable to attain true serenity in the Light or submersion in the Dark.

He let his breath out of his mouth, his hands coming to settle lightly on her hips, his thumbs brushing her hip bones.

Meeting Rey had just cemented his inability to detach, the Force ensuring through their Recognition that he would always be rooted in his connection to another, rooted to a family, even if it was just a little family comprised of the two of them. Maybe three, someday, if it was ever safe enough. If the Force was merciful enough to grant them that.

The way Rey looked at him, so soft and gentle as she ran her hand over his hair again, made Ben vividly aware of how right she was; how incapable he was of being anything but completely enamored with her.

He had heard of alphas that had resisted the call of their Recognized omegas for the sake of the Jedi or the Sith, forsaking the call of a bondmate to uphold their duties to their chosen Order; but even with the threat of Snoke’s cruel hand hanging over him, Ben had been completely unable to resist her. “Shitty Jedi” was quite an apt description, both of them so quick to delve deep into their connection with no breaks in sight.

“Luke made you feel guilty for your anger,” she finally whispered softly, “and Snoke made you feel guilty for your kindness. They were both wrong. We’re not Jedi, and we’re not Sith. We’re something else. Something new. You don’t have to hide from me.”

He loved her, he loved her, he loved her; it was the only thing he could feel in that moment, and she trembled with a little gasp before leaning down to press a hard kiss to his mouth.

His hands traveled up her sides slowly, her skin so warm under his palms; he never wanted to leave this bunk, he never wanted to not have her pressed against him, he never wanted to think about anything that wasn’t her body and her mind wrapped up in his.

He could suddenly smell the slick between her thighs, and he knew her heat was encroaching again; knew that it would persist for at least another day, though the frequency was spreading out to a more manageable pace.

It was a welcome distraction, a comforting scent even as his body responded to it, her pheromones pushing on the animalistic part of his brain that demanded him to knot her, to make her his.

This. This was what he needed to focus on. She still needed him, he shouldn’t be thinking about anything but pleasing her.

He dipped his hand between her legs, cupping her mound as he nibbled her lips, and Rey let out a little trembling sigh against his mouth. She was eager to press down into the touch, her own fingers digging into his hair and his shoulder, holding tight as the wave of heat in her started to build.

She was beyond the patience needed for a slow build to orgasm, and he didn’t blame her, taking her frustrated growl against his mouth as all the signal he needed to touch her more directly. He repositioned his hand, his fingers splayed across her pelvis and lower belly as his thumb dipped down to rub against her clit.

She broke the kiss with a moan, sitting back and bracing her hands on his chest as she ground into the touch. He knew by now how to rub just right, how to make her pleasure spark sharp and fast, perfecting the tiny circles against her sensitive nerves that would push her swiftly to the edge.

Rey was gorgeous like this, biting her lip, eyebrows furrowed as she shook and squirmed. He knew her pussy was clenching on nothing, desperate for his knot, knew that she wouldn’t come without it. He hoped that would change, after her heat; that he’d be able to spend all the time he wanted with his face between her thighs, getting her off again and again with his tongue alone.

“Ben,” she panted, desperate and aching, and so was he; he could feel his pulse in his cock, feel where his knot wanted to fill.

But he couldn’t stop staring, couldn’t stop drinking in the way her thighs were shaking on either side of his hips, the way her chest moved as she panted, the quiver of her belly as she tensed with pleasure under his thumb. He was captivated, he was always captivated by her, but seeing her like this, on edge above him and smelling rich with her heat was something else entirely.

She suddenly rose up with a groan, reaching around his hand between her legs to position him at her entrance, then sinking down in one fluid, perfect thrust.

He gasped with shock, pushing his head back into the pillow as he scrunched his eyes shut, helpless to stop the way his hips jerked up into the tight squeeze of her cunt.

She moaned so beautifully, grinding down against him with hard little rocks of her hips. Her hand pressed over his on her lower belly, fingers curling under the edge of his hand and holding tight, encouraging him to resume the rub of his thumb against her clit.

He swallowed with a moan, opening his eyes as he jerked up again inside her, pushing himself even deeper. She gasped, starting to rise up and sink back down with a frantic whimper, uneven and jerky as his thumb on her clit made her pussy spasm and clench.

She just wanted to come, she just wanted relief, he could feel it across their bond and in desperate way she was moving, the way she was breathing unsteadily, and he wanted to give it to her.

He pushed himself to sit up, wrapping both arms tight around her as he ducked his head with a moan to kiss and nip at her neck. The touch of his mouth brought a strangled cry from her lips, her arms clinging tight to his shoulders as he rubbed his tongue where there was already a mottling of little bites and bruises. He couldn't help himself, he couldn't fight his impulse to mark her, especially here where her scent was so strong.

“Ben,” she moaned sharply at the edge of his teeth against her pulse, grinding down hard onto his pelvis with a desperation he could almost taste.

“I've got you, sweetheart,” he panted, guiding her hips with his hands, guiding her just right for a tight, hard rhythm that would let pleasure truly sing between them.

Her pussy squeezed and fluttered with every grind of his pelvic bone against her clit, making her breath catch on soft little cries that wound him tighter and tighter in a hot surge. His knot started to swell, the first catch of it inside her opening making her shout and dig her fingers into his shoulders.

“Knot me, knot me, knot me,” she chanted breathlessly, twisting and squirming desperately in his lap for the relief of his knot, begging for his body to lock them together and fill her with his cum.

He could deny his omega nothing, her hot desperation flooding across his mind until he frantically pulled her down tight with a loud groan; one, two, three impossibly tight pulses of her cunt yanking him hard over the edge with a strangled shout.

The peak of her climax crashed into his head, her cries and whines stoking the possessive fire in his belly; her pleasure belonged to _him_ , he was the only alpha who would ever give her this, the only alpha who could make her shake and come the way he could.

The tight rock of their hips and thick rub of his knot made her thrash with the overwhelming feeling of it, wave after wave shaking through them both until she was begging him silently to be _still_ , to let her _breathe_.

The effort it took to stop grinding her down onto his knot was monumental, it was every time, the pleasure so intense between them it blocked out everything else.

Still his knot kept pulsing, filling her with his seed and keeping it locked inside her as he breathed raggedly against her neck.

_Good girl,_ sent dazedly. _My perfect, beautiful omega._

She whimpered, a hard pulse of her cunt stealing both their breath, and Ben dug his fingers into her back with a shuddering exhale.

He could not be taken from her, he would rather die.

The anxious thought came unbidden into his mind, his fear bubbling to the surface before he could stop himself, getting tangled up in the possessive, protective alpha instincts of his hindbrain.

Rey gasped, and shame cut through him like a knife.

He did not want to burden her with this, with his fear and his dread, but with the way they were connected, minds open and raw in the wake of their climax, there was no hiding it. Once his mind dug them up, feeding them into his alpha drive to protect and provide anything he could to his omega, he was finding it impossible to bury down again.

She held him even tighter, laying a flurry of kisses along his shoulder and pressing comfort along their bond.

_I’ll keep you safe,_ her voice whispered across his mind with sudden ferocity. _I promise you that, Ben. I haven’t waited this long only to let you be ripped from me. I’ll tear apart anyone who tries._

The utter viciousness of her promise left him breathless, clinging to her with a shuddering breath.

His fierce, powerful omega; stronger than he would ever be. She deserved a better alpha than him.

Her fingers tangled in his hair, giving a sharp tug, making him wince.

“The Force would not have guided us together if you were not my perfect alpha,” she murmured. “You’re meant for me.”

She pulled back a little, nudging her nose along his cheek and coaxing him to look at her with her hand in his hair.

She was so beautiful, her cheeks flushed and her eyes warm and relaxed in the wake of her orgasm. She kissed him as another spasm gripped her tighter around him, pulling another hard pulse of cum from him that made him whimper.

“My perfect alpha,” she sighed against his lips, her hand coming up from his shoulder to cup his cheek. “You think many alphas would look at me the way you do after I did this?”

She traced the line of his scar with her thumb, trailing down his cheek and jaw, his throat, his collarbone, and his heart fluttered.

“You were protecting yourself,” he murmured. “How could I hold that against you?”

“Most alphas would,” she pressed another soft kiss to his lips. “Most alphas would hate an omega that’s as aggressive as I am. An omega aggressive enough to disfigure their Recognized mate would be unforgivable to most alphas, you know that.”

He did know that, and his stomach roiled at the thought.

“Exactly,” she murmured, rubbing the tip of her nose against his and taking another kiss. “I'm for no one but you.”

_I will endeavor to deserve you,_ he whispered across their connection, and she tightened her fingers in his hair a little.

“You already do,” she pressed the words against his lips. “Which is why nothing is going to keep you from me, alright? We deserve this, Ben. We’ve been lonely long enough.”

Another kiss, his heart aching in his chest with adoration of her, and she stroked her fingers through his hair.

Her heat would be over soon, but they were just beginning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her heat was over, but they weren't ready for their time alone to end.

Her heat lasted five days, three of which she got to spend coming apart on Ben’s knot.

Which, in some ways, had been absolute misery. Her whole body had run hot and demanding with need, consuming pretty much any other thought process beyond needing to get fucked and filled. It was a jarring experience, to say the least. Sex had never been a prominent part of her life, back on Jakku. She knew people had it, she knew the concept and the mechanics, but without a heat to drive her to it, sex had fallen to the absolute bottom of her list of priorities. There was no one in that desert wasteland she even briefly considered wanting to have sex with, so she had wrote it off as something she would never be fussed about.

Then she met Ben, and all the trappings of being an omega that she had never had to think about before suddenly consumed her.

Just his scent alone, rich and so completely _alpha_ , pinging something in her that had never been awake before. She _wanted_ him, desired him in a visceral, primal way, even when she was immobilized in a _Starkiller_ interrogation room with his black mask staring blankly at her.

She had been so furious at her biology then, that this little quirk of her genetics had turned her whole life upside down.

Now, though, she was starting to see the benefits. Her heat may have been demanding and frustrating, but getting to bask in the scent of her alpha, getting to bring him pleasure just as much as he was giving it to her, getting to cocoon herself in his warmth and the comfort of their bond; it was an experience unlike any other. It made her feel whole, complete in a way she had never felt.

Then it was over, day six dawning peacefully, the fire that had burned in her for the last five days extinguished, satisfied at last.

“How do you feel?” he asked her quietly, running a hand over her side. It was clear he knew it was over too.

Rey sighed. “Bit sore. Hungry. Other than that I'm okay. You?”

“Fine,” he murmured, his hand dipping around to her back, his fingertips tracing up her spine.

He was resigned, withdrawn, and Rey thought about his anxiety at what lay ahead. She felt sure that he was going to be safe, though she could not place any specific reason why she should think so beside a gut-deep sense of surety. It was enough to reassure her, but she knew her mate was still struggling with trusting the will of the Force.

She made a point of snuggling closer, tucking her head under his chin with a sigh.

“Shower, then breakfast?” she murmured. “I was thinking of doing a bit of maintenance on the _Falcon_ today, before we go back. Might take a while, might even stretch into tomorrow.”

He could tell what she was doing, and she pressed a little smile against his chest at the feel of his gratitude.

“Anything I can do to help?” he murmured, keeping his voice as casual as hers, and she smiled wider.

“I’m sure I’ll think of something.”

He finally retrieved the bag he had brought with him from his TIE Silencer, carrying a surprisingly small amount of belongings, and added them to hers in the little crew quarters. A few changes of clothes, (black, all of them) as well as a toiletry bag. Other than that the only personal items he possessed were a data pad and his lightsaber.

“Did you have to leave much behind?” she asked, running her fingers tentatively over the hilt of his weapon where it had been tossed onto the bunk, briefly remembering what it had felt like to heft its heavy weight in Snoke’s throne room.

“Not really,” he murmured, and she looked up to find his eyes on her hand, watching her touch the saber. “I’ve learned not to form attachments to physical things, so I didn’t collect many.”

It was a sad thought, in Rey’s opinion. When she had been on Jakku, scraping for everything she had, it had been hard not to place sentiment on the few possessions she managed to collect. A little doll she had crafted from an old flight suit, a glass vase for a desert flower she had found, acquired at the cost of a whole portion. Even her rudimentary plate and her thin pallet and pillow were occasionally thought of with remorse, despite her current quarters on the _Falcon_. When you had almost nothing, you held on to the things you managed to get with both hands.

She answered him with a noncommittal hum, tracing her finger over the red wire on the exterior casing of his lightsaber.

In the time since they had parted, she had managed to repair her own saber, though she doubted he would recognize it as the same one she had thrown to him in Snoke’s throne room.

The primary kyber crystal had split, and with no way to acquire another one, she had had to improvise. Her solution had been a lightstaff, the two halves of the crystal on either end. It was a weapon she now cherished, the familiarity of staff fighting and the comfort of knowing she had built it with her own two hands making it feel like a part of her. Just like the black hilted weapon under her hand made her feel like she was touching a part of him.

“It should not be so captivating to see you touch that,” he murmured, stepping closer, and she gave a surprised laugh.

“Weapons can be so personal, can’t they?” she mused, stroking the wire again. “Like an extension of us, in some way.”

She could feel the weight of his gaze, and allowed herself to lift her eyes to his, her hand finally sliding off the hilt of his lightsaber.

He was watching her so intensely, he was always so _intense_ , and it made Rey’s heart beat faster.

“Can I touch you?” he suddenly asked softly, so full of yearning, and it caught Rey completely off guard.

He had been inside her constantly for the past three days, he had kissed her, he had put his mouth between her thighs, had spent the time they weren’t fucking wrapped around her posessively; did he really think his touch was unwelcome now?

“Of course you can,” she murmured, reaching for him, and he stepped against her side with a little puff of air from between his lips.

He wrapped one arm around her, the other taking her hand, and she closed her eyes as she snuggled her head against his shoulder with a sigh, her free hand going about his waist comfortably.

She was struck again by how _good_ he smelled, now that they were both showered and free of the scent of her heat and layers of sweat; the renewed cleanliness leaving behind just the warm, alluring scent of him under the fresh smell of soap. She had been introduced to a dozen alphas since she had left Jakku, but not one of them had smelled even a fraction as good as he did.

He seemed to have the same train of thought, leaning his cheek against the top of her head with a deep sigh, and Rey wrapped her arm around him a little tighter.

There was no urgency in their touch now, no biological demand consuming her thoughts, leaving her to just feel... safe. She felt safe, pressed against him, at home. He was so warm, his body heat easily permeating the simple tunic he was wearing, and the temptation to pull him into the bunk and just wrap herself up in him was a strong one. Especially because she doubted he would object.

She angled her head up, and he lifted his cheek from her hair to look down at her.

“You know,” she said with a sigh, and he raised his eyebrows, “I really _should_ do some maintenance on the _Falcon_ while we’re here, the hyperspeed calibration needs some attention. But all I really want to do is stay in bed with you.”

A blush crept across his cheeks in the most endearing way, but she could feel how pleased and proud he was at her statement.

“You do?” he asked quietly, his hand tightening around hers a little, and she squeezed back with a soft smile.

“I really do. Which is ridiculous, when you think about it. I just spent three days in that bunk, I should be going crazy with wanting to do some work or venture out of the ship for a while, but-” she shook her head with another sigh, rubbing her hand up and down his back warmly, “-you just smell _so good_ , do you know that?”

He gave a little, surprised laugh, and it dawned on Rey that it was the first time she had actually seen him smile. He was _beautiful_ ; it made him look younger, softer, it drew dimples into his cheeks and warmth into his eyes. Rey couldn’t help but let go of his hand to reach up and cup his face, giving him a smile in return.

He put his hand over hers on his cheek, turning his mouth against her palm and pressing a kiss there, his eyes slipping closed in contentment. She loved him like this, calm and at ease and enjoying her touch.

“I’m glad you think so,” he murmured against her hand. “You’ve always smelled incredible to me.”

His mouth trailed along her palm to her wrist, rubbing his lips warmly against her pulse.

Rey sighed softly. “One of those Recognition quirks, I guess.”

“Not one I would complain about, myself,” he mumbled, and Rey had to agree.

Ben pressed another lingering kiss to her wrist, his breath tickling the thin skin, and she let out a shaky breath as goosebumps broke out along her arm. She could feel herself getting wet, feel a throb of want between her thighs that had nothing to do with mating biology and everything to do with him. Just... him, being sweet and gentle and _there_.

He was there. He was there with her, he had seen her through her heat and now he was kissing her wrist, breathing in her scent just as much as he was marking her with his.

She curled her fingers against his head, the soft strands of his hair stark against her fingertips, to guide his mouth down to hers.

He gave a tiny gasp, and she could feel his heart racing as clearly as she could feel the hopeful excitement blossom in him. His eagerness was like a vibration, she could feel it humming across their bond, and she couldn’t stop the smile that pulled at her mouth.

“You’re making it feel like we haven’t done this before,” she couldn’t help but murmur against his lips, her hand brushing further back into his hair, eliciting a little hum from him.

“We haven’t,” he replied softly.

She frowned in confusion. She didn’t understand; they had kissed plenty, she had lost count of how many kisses he had given her in the last three days, hard kisses that stole her breath mixed with soft ones that made her heart ache at their tenderness.

“No,” he murmured, a hint of embarrassment coloring his emotions as well as his cheeks, “I mean... just... us. Without-”

Without the compulsion of her heat. It suddenly clicked, what he meant, that this was the first time they had kissed without the primal drive to mate coursing through her blood.

“ _Oh_ ,” she replied softly in understanding.

Ben’s eyes flicked away from hers, more color coming into his cheeks, his vibrant eagerness from a moment before starting to bleed into an anxiety that made Rey’s heart hurt.

She coaxed him back down to her lips, her fingertips petting at the nape of his neck as her hand on his back traced his spine.

 _And now we’ve kissed twice,_ she said softly across their connection. _You up for adding to that count?_

His want was sharp and immediate, his hands crushing her to him in the best way possible. Rey moaned happily against his mouth, her heart starting to race as fast as his was.

Ben had knotted her over and over again throughout her heat, he had bitten bruises into her skin, licked the combined taste of their come from between her legs; she knew what his sweat tasted like, she had begged him to make her come on his knot as she dug bruises into his back with her fingers, demanding his lips, his heat, his seed.

Kissing him now shouldn't feel new, shouldn't make them both thrill with excitement and anticipation, but it did.

Because in a way, he was right. They had come together through her heat, pheromones and instinct driving them to fuck again and again, nature trying to ensure the continuation of their species in its primal, simple way. But now that drive was gone, leaving just them, and no excuse for Rey’s desire besides the fact that he was her mate and she wanted him; wanted his body inside hers, wanted his kiss and his touch and his pleasure. She wanted to make him feel as good as he had made her.

She thought of his face between her thighs, his tongue rubbing and flicking over her pleasure spot; intent and hungry to bring her to climax. She wanted to put her mouth on him in return, wanted to taste him, feel him tense and come on the tip of her tongue.

She broke away from the kiss with a groan, putting her hands on his chest and taking a step back. He mindlessly tried to follow her lips, dazed and dreamy with desire, but she stopped him with her hands and a smirk.

“What-?” he started to ask, coming back to himself a little, but she sank to her knees before he could finish the thought.

His hands flew to her shoulders, and the strangled gasp from his throat made a bubble of pride grow in her chest. It was settled right next to a sliver of nervousness, the newness of sex and pleasure still so uncharted, despite her heat, but she pushed herself to undo the fastenings of his pants anyway.

“ _Rey,_ ” he gasped her name with such shock she looked up, afraid that even with the thrum of desire she could still feel in him that perhaps she was doing something wrong, or unwanted.

The black pools of his eyes told her different, as did the scent of his arousal, so strong now that she was close to his sex, his hard length spilling from the confines of the fabric.

“I want to,” she panted, her hands gripping his hips, fingertips digging into his soft skin eagerly. “Please, let me.”

He gave a breathless, overwhelmed moan, one of his hands moving to stroke over her hair, cupping the back of her head for a moment before closing his grip into a loose handful of the brown strands.

“Yes,” he breathed shakily, his throat bobbing as he swallowed, and it was all the encouragement she needed.

She flicked her eyes back down to his cock, already flushed and rigid with want, then let out a shaky, excited breath as she leaned forward to take the tip in her mouth.

The skin of his cock didn't taste like the skin of his shoulders or neck. Here he was musky, salty, masculine; utterly _alpha_ and so uniquely Ben. She immediately liked it, her cunt throbbing at his scent and his taste, making her squeeze her legs together as she moaned.

She considered how he moved when he was fucking her, before his knot kept him inside, so she pushed down experimentally; sliding down his thickness until the fat head of his cock was flirting with the back of her mouth. It was barely a quarter of his length, this part of him proportionately as big as the rest of him; she knew that, had felt how thoroughly he filled her up during her heat, but it was entirely different to be taking him into her mouth instead of her pussy.

“Use your hand too,” he rasped; not a command, but a plea. It still pulled at something in her body, still compelled her to immediately lift one hand from his hips to wrap around his cock.

That was better, touching more of him, more satisfying, and she moaned as she pulled back a little, sucking and swallowing as her hand traveled up his length to meet her mouth.

Then it was almost easy to fall into a rhythm, pushing down then drawing back, slow and steady, the saliva from her mouth gradually making the grip of her hand easier to slide along his length. And _Ben_ , making the most gorgeous noises, moans and gasps and sharp huffs of breath, his pleasure bright and sharp through their bond.

Rey moaned, squeezing her thighs together again and again, clenching and throbbing with want at the heady feel of being able to bring him such pleasure, of being able to feel firsthand through their connection how deeply he was turned on by her doing this for him, for _wanting_ to do this for him.

Suddenly his hand went tight in her hair, pulling her back and away from his cock, and Rey gave a little cry of disappointment, her mouth shiny and messy with spit and his precum.

He was shaking, shaking and looking down at her like she was a divine entity instead of some omega scavenger girl from Jakku, and Rey felt her face flush.

“Why did you stop me?” she whispered desperately. Her hand, at least, was still on him, so she rubbed at the head of his cock as she tried to lean forward to take him in her mouth again.

Ben’s fingers just got tighter, keeping her head back, and she let out a growl of frustration.

“ _Alpha,_ ” she demanded, looking back up at him, and found his expression shifted to one of dark desire.

“Because I want to knot you,” he rumbled, his other hand leaving her shoulder to rub his thumb across her wet bottom lip, making a shiver violently crackle down her spine. “Rey...”

His voice lost its edge on her name, almost shifting to a plea, his eyes looking at her with such desperate longing.

Rey pushed to her feet, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt before pulling them roughly down onto the bunk. She grunted at the unexpected jolt of landing on his lightsaber, chased by the sudden panic that it might turn on. It didn’t, thankfully, but she gave an aggravated grunt as she dug it out from under her and tossed it to the floor.

Ben gave a little growl, bristling at her treatment of his weapon, but she kissed the protest away, curling her tongue behind his teeth to make pleasure spark down his spine.

His cock was pressing between her legs, damp with her spit, making her squirm as her clit throbbed and ached, desperate for attention.

 _You’re wet, I can smell it,_ he sent to her with a moan, rocking his hips down, giving her a little of the pressure she so desperately wanted.

Rey let go of his shirt to wrap her arms around him, one slung low around his waist and the other diagonally up across his shoulders, mewling desperately into his mouth as she canted her hips up against him.

 _Then do something about it,_ she challenged him, biting his bottom lip and squeezing her thighs, and suddenly he was a flurry of motion.

He pushed his arms under her, crushing her to his chest as he pushed them both more securely onto the bunk, then he was pulling her clothes off as rapidly as he could.

Rey helped, wiggling and lifting when necessary to get her clothes off, then turning her hands to him, exposing his beautiful broad chest with a swift tug of his tunic over his head. Ben’s trousers disappeared over the edge of the bunk next, and she attacked his throat with open-mouthed kisses and gentle bites as he returned to hovering over her.

He was so fucking _big_ , his body eclipsing her and just pouring off heat. His massive size had been so frightening at first; looming over her in head-to-toe black and that metallic-eyed mask.

He wasn't frightening now, he was gorgeous; the wide, thick planes of his chest and abdomen starting to become damp with sweat under her hands, and he was moaning so prettily at the nip of her teeth against his neck.

“Come on, come on,” she panted between mouthfuls of his throat, shoving a hand between them to grip his length. It was almost like being back in her heat, her cunt slick with wanting him, their mutual arousal pinging back and forth between their bond.

He growled, hiking her legs up, hooking his elbows under the backs of her knees as his hands grabbed her by the waist, his knees digging into the bunk as she hurriedly guided him inside her.

He slid in to the hilt easily, her body welcoming him with a gush of slick, making her moan at the feel of it. His cock was so heavy and thick, felt so incredible that she writhed against the bunk in an uncontrollable jerk, her hands restlessly grabbing a fistful of the thick hair on the back of his head with one hand and bracing her palm against his chest with the other.

“ _Kriff,_ ” he gasped, hunched over her and trembling, his hips grinding in for a moment before starting a quick, deep rhythm.

He was barely withdrawing, keeping the snap of his hips tight and hard, with the way her legs were folded up keeping her open for the deep shove of his cock. Then his head dropped down to her chest, mouthing and biting at her breasts, and when his teeth closed over a stiff nipple Rey couldn’t contain her cry.

She needed to come, she needed to come _now_ , and she cried out again as her hand on his chest dropped down to her clit, rubbing furiously with two fingers to make pleasure spark through her cunt like electricity.

Ben moaned, his pleasure spiraling higher at the uneven, fluttering clench of her pussy around him; a feedback loop of sensation that was making her eyes roll up into her head.

Then his knot was starting to swell; she could feel it catching on the muscles of her opening, and Rey couldn’t stop crying out with every breath.

“That’s it,” he grunted against her breasts, his teeth catching a mouthful in a stinging bite. “That’s it, sweetheart, good girl.”

He kept thrusting as long as he could, until he was almost too big, the last shove of his hips inside her a near-painful stretch; but at last his knot locked inside her, ecstasy flooding through her in a sharp burst that made her keen and go completely tense with release.

“Kriff, _kriff!_ ” he rasped, the tight grind of his hips like a lightning strikes through her nervous system as he spilled inside her with a drawn out groan.

Rey could scarcely breathe, twisting and tightening as wave after wave of pleasure crashed between them, until there were tears in her eyes and her fingers ached from how tight she was gripping his hair.

They rode it out and out and out; he was shaking, sweat dripping from the tips of his hair and onto her chest, his mouth leaving wet kisses across her skin. They rode it out until the last hard wave pulsed through them and Rey finally went lax against the bunk, breathing hard and fast and on a whole other plane of existence. She was floating, melted, with Ben slumped over her breathing just as hard and trembling.

She didn’t realize the way her hips were aching until he finally let her legs down, letting her stretch them out on either side of him even as his knot kept them locked together. Then his arms slid under the small of her back instead, holding her close to him as they drifted through the afterglow.

She soothed her fingers through his sweat-damp hair, relishing the hum of relaxed contentment that floated through him.

“Guess that answers that question,” she finally found the mental capacity to mutter, drawing him out of the half-doze he had fallen into.

“What question?” he slurred groggily, taking a deep breath in and rubbing his cheek against the top of her breast mindlessly.

“If doing this would always be so intense,” she answered, her voice soft and her fingers carding through his hair again. He stilled, considering, and she gave his hair another stroke. “I thought maybe it would be a bit more mellow, or something, I don’t know. But...”

She trailed off, and he pressed a kiss to her skin.

“When you’re inside me...” Rey put her lips to his hair with a soft sigh, stroking his shoulders with one hand as the other continued to pet through his hair. “It’s like I’m back in my heat again, even though I know I’m not.”

He finally raised his head, stretching up to press a gentle kiss to her lips with a soft moan, all but bursting with proud delight at her words. She smiled into the kiss, his happiness contagious, and she felt his mouth curve into an answering grin.

_Yeah alright, don’t go all alpha ego on me._

_Wouldn’t dream of it._

She giggled, giving his hair a little tug, and he hummed contently before pulling back slightly to look at her. His eyes were warm, his face relaxed and happy, with a little smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth; he was gorgeous, and Rey mirrored his smile fondly as she brushed his hair back from his face.

“You’re so beautiful,” she found herself murmuring, pressing up for another little kiss and brushing his hair back again. “Look at you, you’re the most gorgeous alpha I’ve ever met.”

She could feel his face turn hot, awkward embarrassment flushing through him, and she gave her head a little shake with another kiss and a huffing laugh.

“You going shy on me, alpha?” she teased, scratching her fingertips against his scalp.

He groaned, ducking his head back down against her chest, the tips of his ears burning adorably red.

She couldn’t help but laugh, hugging him tightly around the shoulders and kissing his hair.

“Oh stop that,” she murmured with a grin, “you are. I mean it.”

“I know you do,” he mumbled with a sigh against her chest, squeezing his arms a little tighter around her for a moment. “I’m just not... used to hearing stuff like that.”

There was a bitterness embedded in his words that she couldn’t fully grasp, and Rey kissed his hair again as she rubbed her hands over his shoulders and back comfortingly.

“Well, get used to it,” she sighed, “because I’m not letting you forget it.”

He was still embarrassed, but there was a bubble of bashful happiness sneaking through him that made her feel warm.

“Gorgeous alpha,” she whispered against the top of his head, tracing his spine with her fingertips until he shivered. “You make me feel so good, Ben.”

His arms squeezed around her and his lips kissed fervently against her sternum, a wave of warm adoration flowing from his mind to hers.

 _Me too,_ she promised him, letting him feel all the warmth in her heart for him with open abandon.

They needed this, she decided. They needed a little time together without her heat as a catalyst, to have sex and talk and just touch without all the urgency of her pheromones. She just needed Ben Solo, in her bed and open to her like he was right now, letting them both get more familiar with the warm comfort of their bond.

The Resistance could wait a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there's going to be at least three more chapters after this, and they actually have plot beyond these two fucking each other's brains out, who'd have thought we'd end up here??


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This monstrosity is almost as long as all four previous chapters combined. I don't know whether to apologize or say you're welcome? To be determined, I guess.

Rey’s heat lasted five days, but she allowed them to stay tucked away in the forest on Arda for seven.

They didn’t do a stitch of the work she had claimed needed to be done before they returned to the Resistance, but she didn’t seem very bothered.

Instead they talked, about things that didn’t matter and things that did, and they spent almost as much time in her bunk as they had during her heat. Now, however, there was no edge of urgency. Rey just smelled like Rey, warm and sweet and perfect; no hot demand laced through her scent that was hardwired to push his nervous system into a lustful frenzy. She just smelled like comfort, like home in a way he had been aching for for a very long time, and it made him just as eager to simply lay curled up against her as it did to feel her come apart around his knot.

Thankfully, she seemed to feel the same way, her hands constantly on him, keeping him close to her both in wakefulness and in sleep; simple contact for the sake of feeling his body against hers just as much as eager pulls and squeezes in the midst of their pleasure.

In the early morning on the seventh day, Ben carefully detangled himself from Rey’s sleeping form to dress and use the ‘fresher before sneaking off the _Falcon_ , lightsaber in hand.

He felt a little off kilter, almost an entire week spent without any of the routine he had accustomed himself to under the First Order. It had been a week well spent, but going so long without practicing his saber skills and the rigorous workout regimine he was used to still made him feel strange.

It was barely dawn, the light low and soft as he started running, just letting his mind concentrate on his body instead of the swirling anxiety that had been growing in his head since her heat started to wane.

She kept telling him to trust the Force, to trust that they would not have been able to come together in this way if they weren’t meant to be, but he just couldn't do it. There was so much that could happen, there were so many variables going forward and more than a small handful of them could result in him imprisoned or killed. He couldn’t shrug that off.

“Then trust _me,_ ” she had implored him, stroking his hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead softly, “trust me to protect you.”

It was hard to do, when the idea of her putting herself at risk for his sake made him feel sick.

He ran until his legs and his lungs were burning, then forced himself to run a little longer. By the time he slowed to a walk, he had sweated through his shirt and his hair was dripping, his body tingling with heat and exhaustion despite the cold temperature of the forest.

His loud, heavy breathing almost seemed to echo in the snowy surroundings, and he stopped for a moment to lean against a tree and catch his breath a bit more before turning around and following his footsteps back toward the _Falcon_.

 _Where are you?_ Rey’s voice eventually came into his head.

_I just went for a run, I was feeling a bit restless._

_Was there a reason you took your lightsaber?_

Her tone wasn't accusatory, but worried, and he sent warm reassurance to her through the bond. _Just as a precaution. I have no clue what the wildlife is like here, I'd really prefer not to get eaten._

A flash of a memory passed through her mind, tentacles and teeth and screams, and Ben’s eyebrows furrowed in concern.

_Yeah, I'd really prefer you not get eaten either._

_When did you encounter rathtars?_ he couldn’t help but ask.

He could feel her unease, her hesitation, but she finally answered, _The first time I met Han._

Ben swallowed thickly, his footsteps slowing as his heart rate sped up. His father was a subject they had been avoiding; too painful for either of them to bear. His regret and grief was a wound that would never heal, and her anger and sorrow would never allow her to forgive him. Nor should she, he knew. He could never forgive himself, there was no reason she should.

Part of him wanted to ask for the complete story; how rathtars fit in to her first encounter with Han Solo he didn't exactly know, but he could hazard a guess. There were very few smuggling jobs his father would refuse.

 _I see,_ was the noncommittal answer he gave her instead, and their bond went silent for a few minutes.

_How far away are you?_

_No idea,_ he confessed, _I typically run ten kilometers a day, so I just ran until I got tired and figured it was close enough. I'm walking back now._

_Don't get lost!_

_I won't. I'm just retracing my footsteps in the snow, it’ll lead me right back to you._

She seemed contemplative, and he sent a questioning feeling her way.

 _Can I join you?_ she asked. _Getting out of the ship for a while would be nice._

_Of course._

He pushed himself to a light jog to lessen how far she had to come out to him, and he scented her before he saw her. She still smelled like him, like the sex they had had the night before, and of course her own sweet, natural scent. 

She looked just as lovely as she smelled, her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail and wearing a grey poncho that came down to her knees. She was carrying a quarterstaff, and smiled when she saw him.

“Aren’t you cold?” she asked, her boots crunching in the snow.

“Not really,” he shrugged. “I'm still sweating from my run.”

Rey chuckled, shaking her head. “You’re a furnace.”

She fell into step with him, the morning light fully overhead and the sound of their footsteps echoing through the trees.

“How was your run?”

“Good. Have you had breakfast yet?”

“No, I wanted to wait for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know, I wanted to.”

It was strangely domestic, talking their morning routine and walking through the forest. He wished again that they could just leave it all behind; take off and run and not look back.

“I spoke to Chewbacca this morning,” she eventually said quietly, hopping over a fallen tree in their path.

That was it, then. Reality was not going to be ignored any longer.

“Right,” he grunted, at a loss of what else to say.

“I told him that you’re here, and asked him how he thought we should handle things going forward. Him and General Organa will arrive this evening.”

It was an inevitability, of course, but being faced with seeing his mother again still left him with a sense of panic and dread.

“Ben,” she said his name softly, putting a hand on his arm. They stopped, standing silently for a moment in the midst of the trees.

He kept his eyes on the ground, not wanting to see the pitying look she was undoubtedly giving him, and she gave a soft, sad sigh.

“I know you’re afraid,” she murmured, stepping close to him and stroking her palm down his arm to slide her hand into his, “but you're not facing this alone. We’re in this together, we’re a team.”

She squeezed his hand and he looked up. She was so _earnest_ ; she wanted so sincerely to help him, to make all of this easier.

“She misses you,” Rey added softly, reaching up to place her hand over his heart comfortingly. “She loves you, Ben, she truly does.”

“I know,” he murmured, his throat tight. He had felt it, even when he was in his TIE Silencer, attacking their ship as they fled their Resistance base on D’Qar; she hadn’t been angry or vengeful, as he had expected her to be. She had just been sad, and worried, and had wished for him to return to her. “But that doesn't mean she can forgive me.”

Rey’s eyes grew heavy with sadness, and her hand rubbed soothingly against his sternum.

“Give her the chance to,” she eventually said softly. “You both deserve to find some peace, Ben.”

Peace. An idealistic dream he felt fairly sure was beyond his reach. Even with the astounding gift of Rey’s acceptance of him as her mate, it didn’t erase his past. It didn’t erase the damage that had been done, both to him and by him.

She pushed up on her toes, stretching her neck up to press her lips to his, and he let his eyes close as he lowered his head to make it easier for her. Maybe someday a kiss from her wouldn’t make his heart start to race, but it certainly wasn’t that day.

“Come on,” she encouraged, sinking back down off her toes and squeezing his hand again, “let’s get back to the _Falcon_. I want to get in some practice with my staff today.”

Ben’s interest piqued. He hadn't had an opportunity to see her fight with her staff before, though he knew it was a skill she had developed on Jakku.

He nodded, keeping her hand in his as they finished their journey back to the _Falcon_.

Rey tugged off her poncho as they reached the ship, casually tossing it up the ramp as she loosely twirled her staff in her free hand.

He watched curiously, her fluid movements almost dance-like, and she rolled her neck and shoulders before going through a series of graceful moves in warm up.

She looked at him with a little smile, twirling the staff again, then raised her eyebrows questioningly. “Spar with me?”

He raised his own eyebrows in surprise, staring at her for a moment. The last time they had wielded weapons against each other, it had ended with the scar he now carried down his cheek and neck.

“Come on,” she said cheekily, stepping forward and tapping the end of her staff against his lightsaber where it was clipped to his belt. “Afraid I'll kick your ass again?”

He gave her a deadpan look, making her smirk wider. “Still a sore spot, huh?”

“You do recall that I was already wounded at the time, do you not?”

“Excuses, excuses,” she shook her head with a chortle. “Come on alpha, time to try again.”

Ben still hesitated. It felt... wrong, drawing his weapon against her, even if it was to just practice spar. She was his mate, and she was an omega, which made the protective part of his alpha brain recoil from even potentially hurting her.

Rey tapped his saber again, then with a flirty smirk shifted her staff to rap sharply against his ass, making him jerk away with an exclaimed, “Hey!”

He pushed her staff away, shaking his head. “I need to find something else to spar with, my saber will just slice right through your staff.”

“No it won’t.”

A moment later and her staff was humming, glowing blue light blades extending off either end, adding a good meter to either side, essentially turning it from a quarterstaff into a longstaff.

She stepped back with a smirk, arching it through the air demonstratively. “I’m still getting used to the length, but it works pretty well for me.”

She switched one end off, and suddenly it could be used as a long-handle lightsaber; she changed her hand position, and gave a few long-reaching stabs and slashes through the air.

“Pretty clever, huh?” she said proudly.

“Where did you get the kyber crystals for a new weapon?” he asked with a frown. “We’ve been monitoring Ilum for years, I would have known if you had landed there.”

The smile slipped off her face, her expression shifting to perplexion, then distressed understanding.

“Kriff, you... you don’t know?” she said softly, almost nervously, and dread immediately took residence in his gut.

“ _What_ don’t I know?” he demanded, and she switched off the lightstaff as she stepped close to him again, looking nervous and sad at the same time.

“It’s not new kyber crystals,” she told him softly. “When... when we fought over my lightsaber, that bright light? That was the hilt splitting, the crystals cracking. It’s... it’s gone, Ben. I made this from the split crystals, I gutted the hilt and refashioned it into my staff.”

 _Gone?_ Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber had survived years of disuse on Tatooine, had survived Luke’s training under Master Yoda, then his first fight with Darth Vader himself, the lightsaber’s old master. It had been hidden away for decades only to be called to Rey’s hand, and now... it was gone?

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, stepping a little closer, holding her staff down at her side as her free hand came to rest on his hip. “I thought you knew... the blast, when we were trying to pull it from each other-”

“I thought perhaps you had done that,” he murmured, looking down at the staff. She held it up to him in offering, and he closed his hand around it gently.

It was a beautiful weapon. She had crafted it well and even he could hear how the kyber crystals, though split from their original form, sang in harmony under her care. She was so clever, his scavenger girl; she had taken a broken relic of the past and made it into something new, something beautiful and strong, just like she was. There was no reason for him to mourn, really.

Yet losing the legacy weapon that had been Anakin's, then Luke’s, and Ben had once hoped would eventually be his, still plucked at the part of him that continued to feel connected to his bloodline.

Sentiment. It always was his weakness.

“Give it a go,” she murmured, stepping back from him and nodding at the staff. “Try it out.”

It was never to be said that he wasn't a well-rounded fighter; he had trained to handle a multitude of weapons, both of Jedi and Sith origin as well as standard weapons from a variety of races and cultures. A quarterstaff was not new to him, but it was a weapon he never felt drawn to refine his skills with.

It was surprisingly heavy, each end equally balanced, and he ignited both sides experimentally. A few casual swipes through the air and there was no doubt Rey had built it to perfection.

He powered it down after a moment, holding it in his hands for a moment more, then looking up.

She was standing with her arms folded, almost smiling, and he tossed it back to her.

“It’s perfect, Rey,” he said earnestly as she snatched it out of the air, and a real smile spread across her lips. “Truly.”

“Then help me practice,” she coaxed him again, igniting one end and standing ready. “I’ll go easy on you this time, Solo.”

She was trying to goad him, but he could feel the gentle lightheartedness of it, and an undercurrent of eagerness that was all too familiar. She was restless, just as he was, looking for a way to release the pent up energy.

He unclipped his saber from his belt, taking a deep breath, then igniting it. He was still uneasy, the idea of using live weapons against each other even in spar bucking against every alpha instinct, but he was trying to trust her. More importantly, he was trying to trust himself.

There had been a time when him igniting his lightsaber had filled her with fear, but her look now was just hungry; ready and impatient to begin.

She moved first, a fluid upward swish he was able to easily deflect, then it was as easy as breathing; the two of them dancing and parrying around each other in a flurry of attack and defense.

It felt... weirdly good, almost tranquil; the Force ebbing and flowing through the two of them, their bond open and humming. He could almost sense what she was going to do before she did it, and he knew she was experiencing the same thing, making the fight between them more of a dance than a fight; the give and take easy and blissfully natural.

She almost got the unignited end of her staff behind his heel to trip him, growling in frustration when he managed to elude her.

“You’ll have to do better than that, desert flower,” he purred with a grin, and she chortled, the two of them just circling each other for a moment.

“I promised to go easy on you, remember?” Her look was cheeky, almost flirty, and he narrowed his eyes in answer.

She lunged for him again, the clash of their weapons crackling through the quiet air, their rapid-fire movements a glowing swirl of color. She optimized every inch of her staff, using its length to keep her distance from him, to put more leverage into every strike and deflection. It was captivating, seeing her so in her element.

They continued for over an hour, until he could feel her starting to tire and his own muscles were starting to ache from the exertion. It was only then that he finally managed to get lucky, her weariness slowing her reaction time enough that he landed a swing to her weapon that knocked it wide, giving him an opportunity to finally get close enough to grab her and hook his ankle behind hers.

She went down with a winded “oof!” her lightstaff crackling and popping where it was digging into the snow, and he pushed it out of her hand with a snap of the Force.

“Cheating!” she gasped, pushing up on her elbows with an irritated frown.

“Since when?” he laughed, switching off his own saber before extending a hand down to her to help her to her feet. “I don’t recall ever outlawing the Force for this spar.”

“It was _implied_ ,” she insisted, taking his hand anyway and allowing him to pull her back to her feet. “We’re meant to be practicing our weapon skills, how does using the Force to disarm each other achieve that?”

“The Force is part of our skill set,” he defended, “as is knowing when it’s advantageous to use it.”

She sighed, calling her staff back to her hand easily. The saber blade had flicked off when it had been thrown from her hand, and she held the staff loosely at her side.

“You still cheated,” she insisted, and he couldn't help but smirk at her.

“Perhaps you shouldn’t have ‘gone easy on me,’ then.”

“Oh shut _up_ ,” she chortled, giving his chest a playful shove with an amused shake of her head.

He wanted to kiss her; she was so beautiful like this, rosy cheeked with exertion and the cold, her eyes bright and her smile so devastatingly lovely. She seemed to sense the direction of his thoughts, her cheeks getting a little pinker and a softness creeping into her expression.

Then her stomach growled, loud enough for them both to hear, and she laughed awkwardly, putting a hand over her face.

“Kriff, I’m so hungry,” she moaned, making Ben laugh as he pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her warmly. She was damp with sweat and radiating heat, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head as he ran his hands up and down her back.

“Breakfast,” he said decisively, letting her go and nudging her gently toward the ship. “Boring as rations are.”

She shrugged, allowing herself to be guided and stooping to pick up her poncho as they climbed the ramp. “I’m not picky. At least I’m guaranteed a full portion these days.”

She said it so flippantly, but it still made his blood boil that she had suffered, barely scraping by, for so many years. That was never going to happen to her again, not as long as he was alive.

They sat on the ramp as they ate, letting the cold air cool them down and enjoying the peaceful quiet of the forest while Ben tried not to think about the upcoming evening.

Rey sensed his unease, he knew, despite his best efforts to hide it from her. It was habit; years of Snoke intruding into his head, leaving anything that wasn’t on complete lockdown inside his mind vulnerable to be picked apart and weaponized against him. He knew how to suppress and compartmentalize, shut himself down so he could avoid feeling the anxiety and fear that wanted to overwhelm him.

The problem was that it was worrying her; he could feel it through their connection and see it in the way she kept looking at him, in the way she was conducting herself around him. She wasn’t stupid, she knew he was hiding, and it was making her nervous, making her overly cautious toward him. It was a horrible little circle of unease between them he had no clue how to break.

After they finished eating, she insisted he take first shower.

“I know your shoulder’s aching, you need the hot water,” she had said, and she had been right; his shoulder _was_ aching, a dull pain radiating out from the old wound she had given him on _Starkiller_.

He had been too grateful to refuse her offer, and the hot water undoubtedly helped.

What didn't help was being alone with his thoughts. There was so much daylight left to burn, so much time he had to fight to keep his emotions under control before his mother met with them to decide his fate.

He felt adrift without an anchor; all the things he would have done before to combat his emotions suddenly feeling like shameful secrets he didn't dare expose to Rey.

There was nothing here he could destroy, no combat robots to fight his frustration out on. Even meditation felt wrong, the old ways of peace within the Force long forgotten to him, replaced instead with a meditation rooted in his pain and anger; a tool of the Dark side, twisting suffering into power. Only he didn't want to be angry anymore, he didn't want to dig at his own wounds until they bled. He wanted to go back to that way of peace, of calm, but he wasn't sure how.

So he showered, then waited for her to be done, barely bothering to put on pants as he waited for her in the crew quarters. He could smell their combined scent in the bunk as he sat on the edge of it, taking what comfort in it he could, trying to think about her more than the swirling anxiety in his chest.

He let his eyes close, leaning his elbows on his knees and folding his hands, and tried cataloguing all the scents in the crew quarters to distract himself. There was them, of course, tangled in the scent of sex and sweat. If he concentrated he could even still smell traces of her heat pheromones, though they were not quite strong enough to push that alpha part of his brain into action. There was the smell of oil and fuel wafting in from the hallway, familiar to him from a lifetime around and inside ships of all kinds.

He tried not to think about Chewbacca’s scent, embedded right under Rey’s throughout the ship; it was too familiar, smelled too much like his distant past, of a home he could never return to. Of a family he was no longer permitted, of a family he himself had broken.

Ben tilted his head down, trying to steady the uneven breaths he found himself taking, clenching his hands together to stop their shaking.

He gasped when he felt a sudden touch, completely startled at being taken so off guard, then immediately furious with himself; he knew better than that, there was no excuse for such a lapse in awareness of his surroundings, even if it was just Rey.

She climbed onto the bunk behind him, draping herself against his bare back with her knees on either side of his hips. She was still naked, her skin faintly damp from the shower and her wet hair tickling his shoulder as her arms wrapped tightly around his chest.

 _Ben,_ her voice whispered softly through his mind, gentle and careful, and it just made him angrier at himself that he was making her feel like she had to be cautious around him. She was his mate, and he was an alpha, she should feel safe with him.

 _Why in the galaxy should she feel safe with you? You’ve never had control, you’ve never had discipline._ The insidious thought came unbidden, stoking the anger at himself even higher. _You’re going to hurt her, just like you hurt everyone._

She said that she trusted him; the problem was that he didn’t trust himself.

Suddenly she was gripping his chin, pulling his head to the side toward her and roughly pressing her lips against his.

 _Get a grip!_ her voice pushed aggressively into his head at the same moment she bit sharply at his lip.

He gasped as he froze in complete, stunned shock. His lip was smarting, and she pulled back to look into his eyes as her fingers let go of his chin, pushing into his hair instead to close her hand into a fistful of the dark locks.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, shifting a little more to his side to lessen the strain on his neck, “but I need you focused and I need you calm. Okay?”

He was too startled to do anything but nod, and she pressed in again for another kiss, chaste and gentle this time.

“What do you need?” she murmured gently, pressing her forehead against his. “What can I do to make today easier?”

He had no idea; every instinct in him to lash out, to destroy something, anything, to turn his emotions from fear into anger would scare her, hurt her. He didn’t want to be that anymore, he didn’t ever want her frightened of him like she had once been. He had a decade of unlearning to do and he didn’t have the faintest clue how.

“I don’t know,” he grit out, clenching his hands together tighter and scrunching his eyes closed with a tiny shake of his head. “I don’t know.”

“Okay,” she said, her voice soft but steady as her free hand stroked his back. She was thinking, analysing, working through the problem the same way she would a broken part on the _Falcon_.

“Why don’t you lay down?” she eventually suggested. “Let me touch you.”

Her hand released his hair, trailing down his neck and chest instead, soothing and steady, but instead of comforting it made him feel shame. He shouldn’t need this, he shouldn’t need to be handled so delicately. He should be the one taking care of her.

Take care of her; that’s what he wanted. He felt helpless when it came to his mother, dread gripping him when he allowed himself to think about the first face-to-face meeting they would have since he was sent to Luke at fifteen. Rey’s pleasure, on the other hand, was something he could _do_. He could take care of his mate, he could control how he used himself as an instrument of her happiness, even if everything else in his life was so agonizingly out of his hands. If he was pouring his focus into her, he wouldn't have to think about anything else for a while.

Her palm slid a little lower, but he shook his head, stilling her touch by placing his hand over hers.

“I want to touch you instead,” he said softly. “Please, I... please.”

She didn't argue, only nodded before pressing in for another kiss, letting him guide her down onto the bunk.

His mind was skipping from thought to thought; part of him wanting to immediately part her thighs and put his mouth to her, part of him wanting to methodically kiss and touch her whole body. He wanted to truly explore her like he hadn't had a chance to do during her heat; they had both just been so _on_ , cranked high with pheromones and the bone-deep thrill of finally being together that patience for anything but rough and desperate had simply not existed.

It did exist now, and he should use it. He loved her, he should know how to be gentle with her, how to make her feel good without leaving bruises and teeth marks.

He kicked his pants off again before getting onto the bunk, and she parted her legs so he could kneel between them.

She was so beautiful, and he couldn’t keep his hands off her, placing his palms on her thighs and drawing them slowly upward. She was so soft and warm, her hands trailing up his forearms in gentle encouragement of his touch.

He leaned down, pressing a kiss to her abdomen softly, her muscles quivering a little under his lips. She felt vulnerable, he sensed; survivalist instincts trying to warn her to protect herself, shield this place on her body where so many vital and delicate organs resided.

“I won't hurt you,” he reminded her softly, but stilling his touch all the same.

She let out a little huff of breath in answer, carding her fingers through his hair. “I know you won’t. It’s not you, my brain just hasn't quite hooked into the fact that I don't have to live every moment like I'm about to be mugged.”

It was a sensation he was familiar with; constantly looking over his shoulder, constantly on edge, ready for anyone with a weapon (and no sense of self-preservation) to attack him. He felt safer here with her than he had ever felt with anyone, but the need for caution was still ingrained in him too.

So instead of pressing it, he moved on, setting his mouth higher, at the edge of her ribcage, following the curve of her bottommost rib with his lips.

She seemed more comfortable with this, even a little eager at his proximity to her breasts, both of her hands moving over his shoulders warmly. His own hands stayed on her thighs, tracing up and down them lightly, so tempted to dip between them to thumb her clit. He _could_ , he knew she would welcome it, but he knew himself; once he started to coax the pretty, warm moans from her throat he wouldn't stop. Any sort of longevity to this would be scrapped in favor of getting her to come, and he wasn't ready for that yet. There was still so much of her he wanted to explore.

He moved across her ribs, one side to the other, dragging slow kisses against her skin while her chest rose and fell steadily. His nose was full of her, her scent warm and comforting; soft in the way only omegas were, though every omega he had ever met paled in comparison to her.

She ran a hand through his hair again, scratching her fingertips against his scalp, and Ben was sure he could physically melt from the sensation. He didn’t know what it was, why her touching him like that made contentment seep into his very bones, but she seemed to be keenly aware of its affect on him.

“Why don’t you lay down with me?” she said softly, rubbing across his shoulders and petting another stroke through his hair, but he shook his head.

“Not yet,” he murmured. He would, in due time, but not just yet.

His mouth drifted upwards, and Rey gave him a breathy sigh as he flicked his tongue against the underside of her breast, following the curve of it toward her sternum with little kisses and licks.

She liked that, her breath hitching a little as he mouthed over a bruise he had left during her heat. Her skin was mottled with them- across her breasts, her neck, her hips, her thighs- making guilt clench in his guts, but Rey gave his hair a little tug as soon as he thought it.

“I left plenty of marks on you too,” she murmured, “I like them, makes me feel like we’re sharing something secret.”

He gave a soft huff, looking up. “The ones on your neck won’t be very secret.”

“Well,” she shrugged, “I can’t say I’m going to complain about that. I’m tired of alphas leering at me, I want them all to know I’m yours.”

It was almost shameful how hot that stoked his possessive alpha side; he’d make sure they knew she was claimed alright, not just with the imprint of his teeth, but by making sure she never left his side without his scent all over her.

“Good,” he growled, ducking his head against her chest again, setting his teeth to the side of her nipple but forcing himself to keep the pressure light. “Because I never want anyone to have a shred of doubt that you’re spoken for."

“It goes both ways, you know.” She scratched her fingers against his scalp again, making a shiver run down his back. “You’ll make any omega with a functioning nose hot for you before they even see how gorgeous you are.”

He felt a flush creeping up his face at her words, and immediately hid it against her chest, distracting himself with taking a nipple between his lips and laving it with his tongue. She made a soft sound, her knees tightening on either side of him and her back arching a little into his touch.

“You don’t like it when I say things like that, do you?” she murmured softly, her words tinged with a kind of sadness and made him feel hot with shame.

“It’s not that,” he sighed, scrunching his eyes closed and rubbing his cheek against the opposite breast of the one he had been giving the attention of his tongue. “It’s just not true, that’s all.”

“You think I’m lying?”

“No, I think you’re underestimating how much I’m hated.”

She didn’t seem to have an answer for that, but he could feel her worry start to spike, which was the exact opposite of what he wanted. He was anxious enough for the both of them, and this was supposed to be about forgetting for a while; he just wanted to make her feel good so he didn’t have to think about anything else.

“Please,” he murmured against her, bringing his hands up from her thighs to frame her chest, his thumbs just teasing the sides of her breasts, “just... let me touch you. I don’t want to think anymore.”

Her fingers carded through his hair and her knees squeezed him again, a mix of apology and encouragement before giving his hair a gentle tug.

“Come up here first,” she said softly, coaxing him up her body until his face was level with hers. She kissed him as soon as his lips were near enough, gentle and sweet as her mind pressed a warm wave of affection against his.

He sank into the feeling greedily, desperate to reassure himself that everything they were about to face was worth it. _She_ was worth it, of course she was, but if there was even a shred of doubt in Rey’s mind that she had made the right choice in allowing him to come to her, if she thought even for a moment that the frenzy of her heat had lead her to the wrong decision, he didn’t know if he would survive it. Being abandoned by her once had devastated him enough, he couldn’t bear the thought of facing it a second time.

 _I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you. You’re stuck with me, alpha, get used to it._ Her words were firm, but threaded through with a degree of sweetness that made the tightness in his chest loosen a little bit.

 _I wouldn’t want to be stuck with anyone else,_ he told her earnestly, trailing his mouth down from her lips to her throat, feeling her pulse starting to quicken slightly against his tongue.

“Flattery will only get you so far, alpha, I thought you wanted to touch me?”

Her voice came out a little breathy, but most certainly laced with playful teasing; it was a welcome distraction that he immediately focused on.

“I am touching you, omega,” he murmured softly, giving a gentle nip to her neck that made her squirm and clench her knees against him.

“Barely. You can do better than that.”

“Pushy girl,” he chortled, giving her another little nip that made her gasp before he soothed it with his tongue.

“You love knowing how much I want you.” He could hear the grin in her voice. “That alpha ego of yours.”

“Can you blame me?” He trailed his mouth lower, back down to her breasts, and Rey arched up against his mouth. “Any alpha wants to hear a pretty omega begging for their knot.”

“Kriff, your _knot_ ,” she shook her head with a huff, her hands trailing over his head and shoulders. “I had no clue what I was in for with this knotting business.”

He laughed lightly, a warm bloom of pride spreading through his chest, before taking her nipple into his mouth. He could almost feel the spark of pleasure it zinged through her body and into her pelvis.

 _I’m glad it’s exceeded your expectations,_ he gave a light suck that made her gasp again, her hand pressing on the back of his head.

 _So is this,_ she thought at him with a little groan, another throb of pleasure squeezing her knees against him. _I never really gave my chest much thought to feel good like this._

 _I’m sorry I didn’t do this sooner._ He moved his hands to cup her breasts, pushing them closer together and rubbing his thumb against her spit wet nipple. He moved his lips from one to the other to give it the same treatment, dusting kisses across her skin as he went. _Your breasts are so lovely._

_Don’t feel too bad about it, I wanted your attention elsewhere, my tits were the least of my worries when all I could think about was you being inside me._

The surge of arousal that raced through him at her words almost shocked him, pulling a low groan from his throat as he worried her stiff nipple between his lips.

Rey shivered with a delightful moan, squirming and squeezing him with her arms and knees. A slow breath in and he could finally scent the desire pooling between her legs, making his heart beat faster with excitement.

One of her hands suddenly pushed down between them, her fingers wrapping around him in a tight stroke that made him gasp in shock. He pulled her hand away with a growl, raising his head to glare at her.

“You’re breaking my concentration,” he said lowly, pinning her hand to the bunk with a firm squeeze, but she just chortled at him.

“You've never heard of multitasking?” she asked with a smirk, so playfully cheeky he wanted to kiss the living daylights out of her. He ducked his head down again instead.

“This isn’t about me, desert flower, this is about you. You’re all I want to be focused on.” He tucked the words against her sternum, releasing her hand so he could return his palm to the warm inside of her thigh, making her shiver.

 _I like that._ The confession felt shy, even across their connection. _When you call me desert flower._

It made him feel warm all over, knowing that his endearment pleased her.

 _I’m glad,_ he admitted, _I like saying it._

She pressed a contented kiss to the top of his head, her hands petting over his hair and shoulders again as he returned his attention to her breasts.

Each swipe of his tongue, each little suck of his lips or nip of his teeth wound her tighter, the scent of her arousal thickening the air until she was squirming and panting.

He trailed his thumb along the crease where her thigh met her body until she gave a frustrated growl, pulling sharply on his hair.

“ _Ben_ ,” she drew his name out on a moan, writhing and pushing her hips up with frustration. “Come _on_. Please.”

_Please what?_

“Please, alpha, touch between my legs,” she immediately begged, squirming and arching again so beautifully he couldn’t imagine denying her.

He shifted his hand, rubbing his thumb against her clit as he sucked and bit lightly at her nipple, and the whine he was rewarded with made his cock throb.

He considered teasing her, bringing her to the edge then backing off, but the way she was clutching at him, digging her fingers into his shoulders and hair, her knees squeezing his sides as gorgeous moans and gasps left her throat; he knew he could never be cruel enough to deny her climax.

Instead he worked his hands and his mouth, the dual stimulation to her breasts and her clit mounting her pleasure quickly to the end. She went tense as she came, her orgasm sweeping through his head and sending lightening strikes down his spine and into his pelvis, his cock leaking drips of precum onto the bunk.

The temptation to bury himself inside her was a strong one; he could ride the last squeezes of her cunt until he locked inside her, satisfy them both with the thick rub of his knot snugged tight in her body.

 _That’s not what this is about,_ he reminded himself, holding on to his precarious control with desperate determination. He still had so much he wanted to do.

Like snagging one of the pillows as he trailed his mouth down, shuffling down the bunk and lifting her hips so he could slide the pillow under her. He didn’t even give her a chance to come down before he was pressing a broad swipe of his tongue against her clit, the resulting jolt and gasp making another spurt of precum throb from his dick.

“Fuck, Ben,” she panted harshly, digging her fingers into his hair, her thighs tensing on either side of his face. “ _Fuck_.”

He took her knees in his hands, keeping her legs open for him as he danced his tongue in a little circle around her clit. She was shivering, he could feel it, her legs and belly tense as he pressed his mouth tight to her, devoting the attention of his tongue to the little bud between her legs.

Still she was dripping, her slick all over his mouth and chin, filling his senses with the incredible smell of her desire. It was making his cock pulse along with his rapid heartbeat, his knot threatening to swell just from this, just from feeling her pleasure and drowning himself in her scent and taste.

He could feel her second orgasm building, slower than the first but stronger, making him moan as he rubbed his tongue rapidly from side to side.

When she came again it was with a little cry, her joints locking and her whole body trembling as her clit throbbed against his tongue. It was _gorgeous_ , she was _gorgeous_ , he never wanted to stop making her come.

She was making a thready whine, over and over with every breath, her fingers tight in his hair, and he let up on the furious swipes of his tongue; just rubbing the tip in a wide circle around her clit instead, edging away from over-stimulating her.

 _One more?_ he asked pleadingly, giving a long, slow drag of his tongue that made her jerk and whine.

_You can try, but I don't know if I can._

_You can,_ he said assuredly. She was still sensitive, but it wasn't pain, as long as he remained gentle.

So he slowly worked his tongue, sweeping it in broad, gentle strokes around her clit, interspersed with light flutters directly to the reactive little bud. She gasped and moaned every time, one of her hands moving restlessly over his shoulder and the other still buried deep in his hair, holding tight.

Light, gentle, until the passes of his tongue over her clit made her pull him in tighter instead of jerking away, pleasure building in her again despite her earlier doubts.

“Alpha, please,” she panted, writhing with her fingertips digging into his shoulder, “please put your fingers in me.”

Her plea was like punch of lust straight to his guts, and he was obeying without even a second thought. She was so wet it was laughably easy to slide his first two fingers through her folds and inside her entrance, sinking in to the last knuckle with only the spasming clench of her muscles as resistance.

Her gasping cry was immediate, her hands leaving his body to press flat against the bed, pushing her hips up desperately into the penetration of his digits and his fluttering tongue.

He kept one of her knees in his hand, keeping her pressed open, but her other leg hooked desperately over his shoulder, her thigh against his cheek as she squirmed and clenched. It was like a trance, rocking his fingers and rubbing his tongue, high on her scent and her sounds and the sparks of her pleasure that echoed through their connection.

She would orgasm again, he could feel it; making him moan as he shifted to rapid rubs of his tongue, side to side with intent and his fingers thrusting with slow, deep rocks.

An idea suddenly seized him, and he froze, his adrenaline pumping at the very concept. He _couldn’t_ , could he...?

Rey growled in frustration, digging her fingers into his hair with a whine.

“Ben,” she gasped, squirming and tugging his hair impatiently, “Come _on_.”

Any teacher and elder he had ever had or heard of would strongly disapprove of what he was thinking of attempting; it was a very indulgent, flagrant abuse of his capabilities in the Force. Shamefully, it made him want to do it all the more.

“Trust me?” he raised his head to ask softly, turning his mouth to press a kiss to her thigh.

Rey froze, and he could feel the edge she had been riding a moment before recede a little bit, her arousal colored with confusion.

“You know I do,” she murmured, though he could feel her burning with curiosity.

He prided himself on his impeccable control of the Force; it was a skill hard won, curbing his brute strength into a sharp weapon with rigorous training, day after day. He felt far away from the child who had accidentally pulled a chandelier down in a fit of anger; now he could stop a blaster shot, he could force the mechanisms in the most delicate of locks, he could create the perfect tension in the air to make someone trip over nothing, if he decided to be so petty.

Now he was going to use that laser precision to trick Rey’s body into thinking she was being knotted.

He fervently trailed kisses back to her clit, pressing his mouth to her again with a warm hum. A moment later, he gently curled his digits inside her, letting the Force flow through his fingers in tiny increments as he kept up the rhythm of his tongue rubbing against her clit.

Slow, slow, slow; a careful little build, so subtle at first that he didn't even think Rey could feel it, but he knew immediately when she did.

“You’re-" she gasped, her hands flying back to his hair and shoulder as she suddenly tensed and shook.

 _Yes,_ he whispered across their bond, utterly fascinated by the way he could feel her pussy clench against the invisible energy.

He waited with bated breath for her to tell him to stop, or for her mind to become fearful of his action, but it never did. Her fingers just twisted in his hair while the other hand gripped his shoulder, a writhe and a strangled groan caught in her throat. The increase in slickness around his fingers, along with the hot rush of arousal that poured over their connection, made him throb in turn with a soft gasp.

A little more pressure, still in tiny increments, and Rey couldn’t be still; her body squirming and spasming with whines and cries, her fingers definitely leaving bruises on his shoulder.

 _This is insane,_ she thought at him deliriously, gasping and shuddering but so completely turned on her slick was dripping down his fingers.

It was definitely insane, and the blatant misuse of his power almost made him feel guilty until he experimented with little pulses of pressure, mimicking the grind of his hips when he was locked inside her. Her reaction was _gorgeous_ , a high whine in her throat and her burst of pleasure shoving right into his head and down his spine.

 _Fuck!_ He shuddered, a messy pulse of precum leaking from his cock.

Another hard writhe and a breathless cry from her throat punched into his guts, her desperate ride on the edge of coming almost as torturous for him as it was for her.

 _Come on, sweetheart,_ he coaxed, _I know you can, come on._

Another little burst of pulses and her pleasure suddenly spiked, her whole body tensing and locking as she came in a sudden avalanche of sensation.

Ben did his damndest not to get caught it in, holding onto his control with both hands and sheer determination, focusing instead on the effort of maintaining those perfect little pulses that were making her fall apart for the third time that morning.

She was positively _gushing_ , dripping all over his fingers like the perfect little omega she was, and he was proud of his restraint until she tugged sharply on his hair with a growl.

_Ben. Inside me. **Now.**_

It was so mind-meltingly hot he thought he would combust, his body reacting before his brain had the ghost of a chance to catch up.

His control of the Force instantly dissipated, making her mewl at the loss of pressure inside her as he withdrew his fingers and shoved her onto her belly, spreading her legs with his knees. She gave another desperate whine, hitching her hips up as his cock blindly sought her entrance, Ben’s pulse pounding in his ears.

Sinking inside her was such a relief that overwhelmed tears nearly escaped the corners of his eyes, and his knot almost immediately starting to swell as he pushed his arm to hook under her neck, his other hand holding tight to her hip.

Rey cried out, shoving back onto his length as much as she was able, despite the heavy way he was bearing down on her with his complete lack of finesse. This, at least, didn’t have to be about precision, unlike the Force manipulation moments ago; this could be messy and unrefined, just the rut of his cock inside her as he rode the fluttering pulses of her cunt.

His grip on the Force was completely gone, had been from the moment he sank into her, but the way she was writhing and crying out at the hard shove of his cock told him she did not miss it; all too happy to greedily take every thrust of his hips in his race to the end.

His knot caught on her entrance, forcing him to give a final thrust deep inside before he got too big, and that’s when her body went completely tense, clamping down around him so tight he saw white.

He was dimly aware of her giving a sharp cry through the pounding in his ears, his orgasm taking him so hard there was no way to avoid yanking her along with him in a fourth climax.

It was poetry, their pleasure getting caught up and tangled in each other’s like it always did, their bond in the Force like a livewire straight between their minds.

Then it was just the perfect haze of the aftermath, her body tight and hot and her scent permeating every hard breath he took.

He had enough brain cells left to shift his weight to the side slightly, canting her with him a little to keep them from pulling uncomfortably, then sliding his hand from her hip to hook his arm under her lower belly. He shoved the pillow out of the way before wrapping his arm around her, feeling her abdomen quivering with every breath.

He was floating somewhere between dozing and awake, his muscles loose and relaxed, even though his arm under her neck would definitely start to go numb soon.

 _You lied,_ she eventually said, jarring him out of his post-coitus haze with her accusation.

His brain scrambled for a moment, trying to figure out what he had lied about, and her amusement tingled over the bond.

_“One more” you said. That was two._

He chortled unexpectedly at her playful dig, pressing a kiss against her hair.

_I can’t really say I'm sorry for making you come._

She giggled in answer. _I can't believe you used the Force for that._

He couldn’t be sorry for that either, though he felt a blush rise to his face.

_I know. But once I had the idea I couldn't keep from trying it._

She giggled again, rubbing her palm along his forearm where it was hooked around her belly, a warm rush of affection passing over their bond.

Then they were quiet, just laying contently together as they waited for his knot to go down, the smell of sex heavy in the air.

She winced when he was finally able to pull out, a messy puddle of cum spilling out of her, and he pressed kisses along her shoulder apologetically.

 _Are you hurting?_ he asked, rubbing his lips against her skin.

_A little. Just kind of sore, between sparring and this. Nothing a little rest won't fix._

He nodded, pressing a final lingering kiss to her shoulder before he pulled away, laying on his back beside her with a long exhale. She shifted with a sigh, squirming around to snug against his side, her head pillowing on his chest.

She started to doze, and he let his mind be carried along with hers back into a hazy, half asleep state of relaxation.

The next thing he was aware of was a pang of hunger, his body insistently demanding him to pay attention to his stomach, and he looked at the chrono to find it to be mid afternoon.

They had to eat, then make themselves presentable for their daunting evening.

Rey was already fully awake, contently listening to his heartbeat under her ear and her hand spread flat and possessive along the side of his ribs.

She tilted her head up when he sighed, rubbing his hand along her back.

“We should probably shower again,” she murmured, which was undoubtedly true. The idea of coming face to face with his mother after over a decade apart was making him anxious enough, but doing it while reeking of sex almost made him queasy with discomfort.

“Yeah,” he croaked softly, stroking her back again before she turned her head to kiss over his heart.

“Me first, if you don’t mind?” she murmured softly.

“Yeah, of course,” he nodded, staring blankly at the ceiling as he tried to hold on to the calm he had been in possession of while Rey was curled against him, sated and warm.

She sat up, pausing for a moment to press a kiss to his mouth, slow and soft and affectionate, a serene kind of comfort pressing from her mind to his.

Then she was sliding out of the bunk and into the ‘fresher.

He forced himself to think about how they had spent the morning, how Rey had looked every time she came, how she looked after, flushed and hazy. He thought about her playful tease when he had knotted her, about how he had only asked her to come for him one more time but had ended up climaxing twice; once with his little experiment with the Force and once on his actual knot.

He closed his eyes, sighing and replaying the feel of her coming on his tongue in his head; the way he had held her legs open for him, the taste of her, the gasping cries as her pussy clenched around his fingers as she came for a third time, just for him.

He didn’t even realize he was getting hard again until there was a light touch along his cock, and he jumped with a gasp as his eyes flew open, shamefully taken off guard by Rey for the second time that day.

Her hair was wet, brushed back from her face, and she was stroking along his cock with a loose grip, a little smile pulling the corners of her lips as she sat beside his hip.

“And what is it you’re thinking about, my alpha?” she asked softly, making his insides feel fluttery.

“You,” he whispered immediately in answer, “always you.”

Her smile got a little wider, her eyes so fond his heart clenched, and without a second of hesitation she leaned down to envelop him in her mouth.

He gasped, gripping her shoulders as her hot little tongue rubbed against the head of his dick the in most delicious way. It was heavenly, wet and soft around him as her hand gripped his shaft with a small squeeze.

“Rey-” he breathed, not a clue what to say after that, but she was so firmly on his wavelength she didn’t need him to say anything else.

She sank down slowly, her mouth and hand in tandem, taking him as deep as she comfortably could before pulling back again. Again and again, letting her palm get wet with spit, letting her grip squeeze and relax along with the suction of her mouth, driving him slowly insane with how good it felt.

A harder suck and his hips hitched with a gasp, pleasure jolting through his pelvis in a sharp burst, and Rey hummed warmly.

 _I like this,_ she confessed, squeezing the base of his cock, where his knot was threatening to swell. _I like how we taste, I like how you taste._

It was so hot to hear her say so, for her to like tasting herself on his cock, for her to like the salty burst of his precum on her tongue. It was an ingrained part of their nature as a bonded pair, he supposed. The scent and taste of her drove him crazy, their combined fluids just as much, it shouldn’t surprise him that she felt the same.

It was also an _incredible_ turn on.

She kept her pace mellow and even, building him up slowly until he was squirming and panting with sharp breaths. He could feel himself swelling, knew she could feel his knot starting to bulge under her hand.

 _Come on, Ben._ She gave a soft moan as she sent the thought to him, sinking down and swallowing around his tip. _I want to taste you._

“Oh _fuck_ ,” he groaned, screwing his eyes shut and gasping as her words and the tight squeeze of her mouth and hand pushed him over in a sharp rush.

Rey swallowed, over and over, bringing her other hand up to join her first around his knot, one hand nowhere near enough to encompass him. She squeezed, firm and pulsing, drawing his orgasm out like the absolute perfect omega she was.

A final swallow around him before pulling off with a wet pop, then she wiped her mouth, her eyes on him as he lay loose-limbed and panting on the bunk.

“Come up here,” he rasped, pressing a gentle hand to the back of her head to coax her toward his face.

She went with a happy hum, letting him kiss her thoroughly, exploring the taste of himself within her mouth.

 _How was that?_ she asked, making him chuckle softly.

_Fantastic, couldn’t you tell?_

_I could, but it’s nice to hear you say it._

“You’re perfect, Rey,” he immediately murmured against her lips; he would take any excuse to praise her with open eagerness.

She shook her head with an amused huff, rubbing her hand against his chest, but her warm appreciation made his heart swell.

“Shower,” she encouraged him with another brief kiss before leaning back. “We’re giving the water recycler quite a workout.”

He chortled, sitting up slowly and rubbing his hand over his face. “At least there is one, not just a sonic.”

“Considering I was lucky to get access to Niima Outpost’s single sonic once a month, it’s a heaven send.”

He didn’t think it would ever not be jarring to be reminded of how little she had for most of her life.

“It’s fine, stop fretting,” she sighed with a placating little smile, thumping him on the chest before getting up to get dressed.

He showered and shaved with quick efficiency, running on autopilot because he couldn’t allow himself to think.

Rey was dressed and eating a ration pack when he got out of the ‘fresher, and he hurried to put clean clothes on so he could eat too.

Layers; his thick, pleated armoured shirt tugged over his head, followed by his tabard and belt, his heavy boots thunking on the metal floors. He briefly considered his gloves too, but decided that the ability to touch Rey’s skin was more important than the imposing accessory.

If Rey thought anything of his reversion to multiple layers after days of undress she didn’t comment, too busy trying to comb the knots out of her hair.

He clenched and unclenched his hands, feeling restless and useless as he looked around the crew quarters for anything to occupy his mind and his hands.

“Can I-?” the words were out of his mouth before he could think, and Rey paused to raise her eyebrows at him. “Can I...?”

He gestured vaguely at her head, awkward and unsure if she would find it strange that he wanted to do her hair for her, but furtively hoping she said yes; any excuse to touch her, to help him feel calm.

“You want to do my hair for me?” she asked with surprise, making red start to color his cheeks.

“I don’t have to,” he mumbled, “it was just...”

“I would love that,” she interrupted with pleased murmur, finger-combing her hair loosely with a soft smile. “Thank you.”

He nodded, gesturing to the bunk before he lost his nerve.

“Just, uh, sit with with your back to me?”

She hopped onto the bunk, sitting cross-legged with her back to him as instructed, her comb and hair ties on the bunk next to her.

He hadn’t done this in _years_ , and he briefly panicked that he had most likely forgotten how. He blew out a quick breath, demanding himself to get a grip as he reached for the comb.

Each stroke of the comb through her hair released a waft of her scent toward his face, and even if he made an utter fool of himself trying to braid for the first time in close to fifteen years, it didn’t change the immediately calming effect of breathing her in.

Then Rey sighed, her relaxation at the repetition of the brushing clear as a bell, helping, in turn, to sooth him further, and he took a long, deep breath.

He hadn’t done this in years, hadn’t even allowed himself to think of it, the memories too painful, but his muscles remembered; even if his progress was a little slow and clumsy.

He started at the top of her head, drawing a little gathering of her hair into his fingers, separating it into three segments. Then it was just rhythm, overlapping the locks, then gathering a little more on each side as he went, slowly incorporating all of her hair into the braid as he moved down the back of her head.

He reached the end of her shoulder-length hair and picked up a tie, fastening it tight around the end to keep it secure. Almost immediately she was up from the bed, eagerly rushing to the refresher to look in the tiny mirror, turning her head way one way, then the other, looking at his handiwork.

“Ben, this is lovely!” Her smile was brighter than the most vibrant star, warming him down to his bones with relief and pride. “Can you show me how to do this?”

He nodded mutely, and Rey rushed out of the refresher to collide with him, throwing her arms around his neck and pushing up on her toes to press her mouth to his.

She smiled into the kiss so sweetly, utterly pleased with his simple braid, despite the fact that it was not as tight as it should have been, and some of the gathering of hair was uneven. He vowed to himself then and there that he would practice until he could do them perfectly again; if it meant seeing her this happy with him, he would give it the same dedication he gave to his lightsaber skills.

Rey sank back down onto her heels, and Ben followed for a second kiss, soft and affectionate and sighing with a pleased hum as he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist.

“Thank you,” she murmured, trailing her lips down his chin and along his jaw, then rubbing her cheek against his with a little sigh. “I don’t remember anyone ever doing my hair for me before.”

So much had been stolen from her; so many simple acts of kindness she should have experienced long before now, and not for the first time, his blood boiled with anger at the family who had abandoned her.

“I’ll do it every day,” he offered in an instant, “and I’ll teach you, of course I’ll teach you, if you want to learn.”

She squeezed his neck a little tighter, and Ben buried his face down against her shoulder when her overwhelmed appreciation flooded their bond.

The shrill call of the comms in the cockpit startled them both, breaking them apart as they both looked toward the hallway.

His heart was in his throat, fluttering rapidly as all his dread, all his anxiety came flooding back in a panicked rush.

“Hey,” Rey took his face between her hands, pulling his gaze to look at her, and he swallowed nervously. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

He forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out, giving her a nod. Then they went to the cockpit to answer the comm.

Chewbacca’s roared greeting made his stomach twist in knots, but Rey gave a soft smile.

“Hey, Chewie.”

_“ETA two minutes. You ready for us?”_

She looked at him with an encouraging smile, then reached for his hand.

“We’re ready.”

_“See you then.”_

She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back, then let her lead him out of the _Millenium Falcon_.

It was the longest two minutes of his life, he and Rey standing out in the snow with the setting sun, keeping their eyes skyward for the ship that would deliver Chewbacca and General Leia Organa to their doorstep.

 _There._ The lights of a little transport ship, drawing closer and closer until it descended through the trees to land beside the _Falcon_.

The door opened, Chewbacca’s tall figure stepping out, and Rey squeezed his hand again.

 _“Well, you look no worse for wear.”_ Chewbacca teased Rey, looking her up and down before stepping close, enveloping her in a tight hug as Rey blushed a little. She didn’t let go of Ben’s hand, squeezing it gently as she answered.

“I’m no worse for wear,” she affirmed, “Ben took good care of me.”

It forced the two to acknowledge each other, Chewbacca stepping back from Rey and standing at his full height with a stern look. Ben considered the fact that the last time they had been on the same planet, Chewbacca had nearly killed him, and he had the bowcaster scar in his side to prove it.

There was no menace in the wookie’s look now, just a begrudging kind of weariness, the two staring at each other for a long, tense moment.

_“It’s been a long time, kid.”_

Ben could only nod, his heart in his throat.

Another moment, and the tension seemed to seep out of Chewbacca with a heavy sigh. The next thing Ben knew, he was being enveloped in a hug he had not experienced since he was a child.

Chewbacca’s furry hand stroked the back of his head, and his voice was surprisingly soft when he spoke. _“It’s going to be okay, kid. It’s all going to be okay.”_

He couldn’t help it, couldn’t fight it if he tried, tears springing to his eyes as one of the last beings in the universe he deserved kindness from murmured gentle words of encouragement to him, holding him in a warm hug that held no trace of resentment.

“Uncle Chewie,” he gasped into the wookie’s chest, “I-”

He didn’t know what to say. _I’m sorry_ felt so empty, so utterly inadequate for the sin he had committed, for the grief he knew his father’s most valued friend carried in his heart. If it was even a fraction of the pain Ben carried, it was far more than _I’m sorry_ could ever hope to alleviate.

 _“I know, Ben.”_ Chewbacca petted his head again with a gentle, heavy hand.

Ben felt bereft when Chewbacca pulled away, hurriedly reaching up to wipe the tears from his eyes as Chewbacca’s hands settled on his shoulders for a moment.

_“She’s waiting for you.”_

The General. His mother.

The short walk through the snow toward the transport ship felt like the path to an executioner’s block; despite Rey’s hand in his, despite the comfort she was trying to send him over their bond, despite Chewbacca’s warm hand on his shoulder to guide him.

They stepped inside, and Chewbacca murmured that he was going to wait for them. Then the door closed.

The ship was little, seating lining the walls but not much else, and his mother looked far too regal to be there. She stood as they entered, reminding him so sharply how unusually small she was for an alpha; he had grown used to female alphas like Captain Phasma, tall and imposing and muscled.

Leia Organa was none of those things, relying on her sheer force of will (and the actual Force, though she would never admit it) to assert her dominance when the situation called for it. Though she be but little, she is fierce, as people were wont to say.

She didn’t look fierce now, her faced aged and tired, the evidence of stress written all over her. His mother had always been frighteningly beautiful, and that had not changed, in his opinion, but he could see the grind of war starting to wear on her.

“I will confess,” Leia sighed, holding his gaze as Rey tugged him a little closer, “I started to think I wouldn’t live to see this day.”

He didn’t think so either; the last time they had been in any kind of proximity to each other, he had been too slow to stop the blasts of the First Order TIE Fighters from destroying the bridge of their ship. He thought his delayed reflexes had killed her, and had tried to bury his second lash of grief with about as much success as his attempt to bury the anguish and guilt of killing his father.

When he had felt her on Crait, burning as brightly as she ever did, defiant to the last, and it had almost weakened his knees with pain; certain that he was going to lose her twice.

Instead she was here, now, all the same emotions he had felt from her on the bridge of the _Raddus_ just as raw through the Force; concern, sadness, a longing for the son she had lost too many years ago.

“Please,” Leia sighed a moment later, indicating the seats opposite of her, “sit.”

Rey guided him forward, pulling them both down to sit opposite of the General. Immediately, Rey drew his hand to her knee, laying one palm over his while the other rubbed up his back until she reached the nape of his neck. Her thumb stroked along his hairline; slow, repetitive, comforting, doing her best to give him her strength and her serenity when all he wanted to do was run.

“Rey has filled me in on what has transpired between the two of you since you met on Takodana,” his mother began. “Your Recognition, your visions of each other.”

He had not be aware of that, but he did not blame Rey for seeking his mother’s guidance on the matter.

Leia’s eyes drifted to Rey, her expression kind.

“I must confess it was the best news I had heard in years.” Her eyes slid back to Ben. “I think you and I can agree that there are few people in the galaxy as exceptional as Rey.”

He could feel his mate’s flattered fluster, her hand curling around Ben’s on her knee, and he closed his grip around her fingers with a little squeeze.

“She is,” he acknowledged. Rey’s thumb rubbed a little harder along the back of his neck in answer.

“I'm so happy, for both of you,” Leia confessed softly, “Recognition is not a gift many people find.”

She certainly hadn't. He and Rey would not follow in the tumultuous footsteps of his parent’s relationship; of that, he felt certain.

“I need you to understand that she is the only reason I am here. I have no illusions about the First Order or the Resistance; you can tear each other apart for all I care. I follow my mate, that is all.”

The words were cold and flat, seeming to surprise Rey but not Leia. His mother’s expression shifted to one of cool indifference that he had seen a thousand times before; her Senator Face, her Sabacc Face. Listening, thinking, but not giving an ounce of her true emotions away.

It would have worked, with almost anyone else, so he had a feeling it was more out of habit than any real usefulness within this room. She was his mother, and she was untrained in shielding herself in the Force, so her feelings were always crystal clear to him.

She was disappointed, but not surprised.

“You have no lingering loyalty to the First Order, then?”

“I was never loyal to the First Order. I was loyal to Snoke. The First Order was a resource.”

“I'm afraid that will not win you much trust with us, sweetheart.”

“ _Don’t_ ,” he snapped in an angry growl, making Leia prickle with irritation and Rey freeze with nervousness. “Do not call me that. Don't call me anything like that. I'm your prisoner of war, General Organa, who happens to know valuable information about your enemy. This is a negotiation, let’s not fool ourselves into thinking otherwise.”

Rey’s upset was mounting, and he hated it with every fiber of his being, but there was no point pretending this was anything but what it was. His mother was nothing if not a practical politician.

Leia’s irritation at his tone shifted to something sad and resigned. “As you wish.”

“Leia-” Rey interrupted anxiously, but Leia just gave her a soft look.

“It’s alright,” she assured her before turning back to Ben. “Do you expect me to address you as Kylo Ren?”

He almost shivered with how icy her question turned her emotions.

“If it helps you detach your feelings from this conversation, then yes.”

 _“Ben.”_ Rey’s fingers tightened around his hand and the back of his neck, her upset finally driving him to turn his head to her.

 _No,_ she implored him silently, looking at him with desperation.

This was not how Rey envisioned this meeting going, he knew. She had hoped for something more like what he had just shared with Chewbacca; a hopeful white flag, a precursor to some form of resolution between them.

It wasn’t that simple; his relationship with the wookie hadn’t been fraught with pain the way his relationship with his mother was. Chewbacca had been one of the few beings in his life he had never felt dismissal from, who had been willing to give Ben his undivided attention in the far too rare times he had visited from Kashyyyk.

Chewbacca also didn’t hold Ben’s future in his hands. General Organa did.

“I don’t think you want me detached from this conversation, Ben,” Leia’s voice drew his eyes back to her, her tone and expression serious. “The fact that you are my child is one of the few things that will keep you from imprisonment or execution.”

He swallowed, clenching his jaw for a moment. “I’m aware.”

Leia nodded, sitting back against the seat and leveling him with an even stare. “Then we need to discuss what will become of you.”

“I have conditions to this surrender,” he headed her off before she could continue, and Rey’s hands tightened on him again, her confusion clear across their bond. “I will not be a propaganda piece for you. I will not be a publicity stunt to attract alliances or recruit your runaways. And I will not be separated from Rey. I will give you intel, I will break down as much detail as I am able to on First Order resources, strategies, and future plans. But all that stops immediately and I go mute if you take my mate from me or you try to force me into the limelight as some kind of galactic poster boy for a turn of heart away from the First Order.”

His heart was in his throat, anxiety sky high. She could refuse him. She could decide that son or not, he was not worth the trouble of his conditions, that intel was not useful enough to grant him asylum within the Resistance, that he was better served as a poster boy for their might to capture and punish First Order war criminals.

Leia considered him, thinking, and Rey’s hand on his neck shifted a little higher, her fingers sliding between the strands of his hair and rubbing gently.

“We will have to go public with your defection, or The First Order will.”

“No they won’t. One Supreme Leader dead, and the second defected? It will make them look unstable, prone to chaos. For a regime that preaches strict order and control, that would look disastrous. No, they’ll keep it quiet if they can, assuming I’ve been killed. When I left, I mapped a flight plan to Cherik, under the pretense of a little drop in on our newest alliance. My comms and tracking cutting out halfway there will go a long way to them making the presumption that I’m dead.”

The next words felt bitter coming from his lips, but he grimaced and forced them out anyway.

“Finding the remnants of my ship, scattered across the region in a clear hyperspace malfunction will do the rest.”

There was not much he prized from his association with the First Order, but his TIE Silencer certainly was. He had been the first to fly the prototype ship, taking studious notes every flight he undertook to improve it. He had personally worked side by side with their technicians to do repairs, upgrades, and inspections. Purposefully destroying it, even to ensure his own survival, felt like cutting out a chunk of his own body.

Rey clearly understood his distress, undoubtedly thinking of the _Millennium Falcon_ , and how devastated she would be to make the same decision.

Leia, however, was giving him a look with furrowed eyebrows, surprise tense through the air.

“Cherik has given alliance to the First Order?”

There was never a time when showing his alpha mother he knew more than her was not utterly, viciously satisfying, and this was no exception.

“Twelve days ago.”

“And you made a habit of dropping in on your allies? Without an escort?” Leia raised her eyebrows.

“Yes, actually.” He felt shockingly smug at her surprise. “You’d be surprised how unnerving a single leader in full regalia showing up to your capital can be. I didn't need the whole First Order armada behind me, they knew I could kill their entire court of leaders with a crush of the Force.”

Leia’s disapproval was sour, and even Rey was disarmed by his statement.

“I see.” Leia’s lips went thin as she pressed them together. She was considering, mulling over his proposal, and Rey rubbed her thumb against the back of his hand.

“You will be integrated into the leadership council, where your expertise will be most valuable during our strategic planning and attack monitoring.”

Leia spoke with a hard edge of finality, staring at him steadily. “I think it should go without saying that your privileges will be very limited, at least to start. You’re grounded from all flightcraft, and will require an escort around base.”

He bristled, a scowl pulling the corners of his mouth.

“And-" she emphasized with a stern look, “-like it or not, we _will_ have to do a public address within the Resistance. We will stress the importance of keeping your presence quiet- it’s not hard to understand that we would lose all element of advantage if the First Order knew someone was actively spilling its secrets- but you can’t just be brought into our ranks and mated to one of our most valuable members without a debrief of our people.”

It was frustratingly logical, but that didn’t stop him from hating it.

“Don’t expect some showy speech or pledge of allegiance from me,” he said instead of showing his disdain.

Leia gave a wry smirk. “I don’t trust you in the slightest to give a public speech. No, I will do the address. But I cannot protect you from everything, there will be many who will want to confront you, despite anything I could say. It should go without saying that _any_ violence you are involved in will be taken very seriously, Ben. As you say-”

She raised her eyebrows, folding her hands in her lap. “-you are a prisoner of war. You are getting far more privileges than most could dream of due to your knowledge and connection to both Rey and myself, and many will not take kindly to that. They will not take kindly to you, either, Rey.”

Rey froze in surprise, and Ben turned to look at her profile as she regarded the General.

“They will see you taking him as your mate as betrayal, of a silly little omega who was too weak to overcome her hormones during a heat. Or they will assume Ben manipulated you into accepting him, by using your vulnerable state as a bargaining chip to take advantage of you. They will think that if you can’t be trusted to keep a logical head during a heat you can’t be trusted at all.”

“I’ve been refusing him since we met!” Rey said hotly, enraged at the injustice Leia was warning her of. “He had me strapped to a table in a cell on Starkiller and our Recognition still made me want him. I’ve been fighting our mate bond from the start-”

“Rey, believe me, I know,” Leia interrupted with a raised hand, looking sad and resigned. “I know he isn’t the same man he was, I felt it before we even landed, the change in him.”

Ben risked a glance at his mother to find her eyes on him.

“There is peace in you,” she said gently, “that I have not felt since you were very young. It doesn’t take much to see that Rey is the direct result of that. And I know that she would not have allowed you to come to her if she hadn’t sensed it too.”

Leia sighed, lowering her head for a moment. “Sadly, not many will understand that. You will face some very ugly accusations in the coming future. You must be prepared to face them.”

Ben tightened his hand around Rey’s fingers a little, drawing her gaze to him, and he looked back mournfully. His very existence had never caused anything but strife for anyone unlucky enough to be close to him, and he hated that Rey was now part of that list. She deserved better, she deserved a mate that she could be happy to stand beside, that would make people jealous of their union, not distrustful of her alliances or mental state.

“Then we’ll show them all how wrong they are,” Rey murmured quietly, tightening her grip on his hand and the back of his neck. “That thinking I’m some ‘silly little omega’ or that you’re some First Order monster will be the worst mistake they could possibly make.”

Her fierce determination and protectiveness of him was written all over her features, but it was the feeling of it passing between them through the bond that filled him with a renewed sense of calm.

The next however-many-years this stupid war dragged on were going to be hell; he was going to constantly be on edge, constantly afraid of losing her, constantly afraid that her choice to accept their Recognition was going to become a regret that she would hate him for. He was selfish, so selfish, for not having the strength to walk away now, to save her from the heartache his presence in her life was going to cause.

“Hold tight to that surety, Rey,” Leia said softly. “You’re going to need it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an idea of where I want to take this story, but I'm not sure when I'm actually going to write it, so I'm listing it as complete for now. Hopefully that will change but I'm not sure exactly when.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're digging this fic, come hang out with me on [tumblr.](https://faequeentitania.tumblr.com)


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